Emmaness

Where Bella's From

2012-02-11T13:07:00.000-08:00

Bella had an assignment last semester in English Comp 1. The assignment was to write a poem titled "Where I'm From." She brought a copy home for Jason and I to read and I love it so much that I want to share it here!

"Where I'm From"

By Bella

I am from bedtime stories and hide-and-seek,

From dress-up clothes, a playhouse, and an easy-bake oven.

I am from bike rides and dance lessons.

I am from Sunday morning hymns,

From Amazing Grace.

I am from chapter books, adventures lived from my

Father's favorite chair.

I am from birthday cake,

From giggles and make-believe.

I am from a tent, listening to the rain,

Smelling dirt and pine.

I am from gloves and Clorox wipes,

Always in my backpack.

I am built of memories,

Shadows of time gone by.

Shaped by those before me,

And growing, always growing.

I love that so many of these things that my grown-up girl feels shaped her life and helped her become who she is were intentional. I love that so many of them were the result of spontaneity. I have so enjoyed watching this girl blossom into a woman. A godly woman with such a zeal for the Lord and a zest for life. What a joy and a blessing to be a mother. I am in awe of this woman that we raised. Amazed that even with all of our mistakes, we didn't manage to mar her. Excited to see what the Lord has for her and, I confess, a little sad that my little girl is so grown up.

Early Birds Catch Worms...

2012-02-01T14:17:00.000-08:00

Concept alarms for sensible people who hate mornings...

*The Pulp Fiction Alarm: When this alarm goes off, you'll be jabbed in the chest with some adrenaline. Probably the only thing that would turn me into a morning person!

*The Back to the Future Alarm: My personal favorite (and I think this one would make it's inventor MILLIONS). This alarm looks like a mini Delorean and comes equipped with its own flux capacitor. When your alarm goes off, this little gem actually rewinds time so that you can wake up several hours later but still not be late.

*The Percolator: Remember your parents' coffee pot? Not only did it brew fantastic smelling coffee, but it made that charming perking sound. When this alarm goes off, it actually starts perking an amazing cup of joe. You'll be awoken gradually by the ever increasing perk and once you're up, you can start your day with a cup of coffee in bed.

*The Jetsons: This alarm gets you going before you get going. It sounds with the perky "Jetsons" theme song, then you'll be robotically whisked off, showered, shaved, dressed, and out the door before even becoming coherent.

*The Monster's Inc.: You'll be terrified into alertness by a top-notch crew of scary, yet lovable, monsters.

*The Kid Brother: There is no snooze button on this pesky alarm. When it goes off, it actually smacks you in the face and then runs off laughing! If you don't catch it, it'll be back to deliver dose after dose after obnoxious dose.

*The Cake Boss: Guaranteed to wake you up, but also highly likely to leave you in a foul mood. You know Buddy's sister, Mary? Yeah. With this alarm, you will be jolted awake by Mary's nagging. (comes with a trial prescription of Cymbalta)

*The Vacationator: Waking up each morning for work is nearly impossible, but if I'm waking up to do something exciting, like climbing a fourteener, catching a flight to somewhere exotic, or to swim with stingrays, I have no problem getting up. The Vacationator uses hypnotic suggestion while you sleep to subtly convince you that instead of getting up for work, you're actually getting up to have an adventure. By the time you realize you've been duped, you'll be wide awake and raring to go!

Maybe if someone would invent a few of the afore mentioned alarms I'd manage to be alert before 10:00 a.m.!

The Queen of Quite a Lot Goes Shopping

2012-01-25T11:25:00.000-08:00

It'd been over two weeks since I'd been grocery shopping. I usually go every week, so...Old Mother Hubbard, the cupboards were BARE! Monday evening had reached the point of opening random cans of things and heating them up in an event that cannot, except in the most fundamental sense, be termed a "meal." So, yesterday I decided to head to WalMart right after work and get the shopping done...Buttercup in tow.

Buttercup and I left school at noon. I was tired and she was hungry, but I knew from experience that if we went home we wouldn't get back out for a while, so we pressed forward with the plan. I drove through Chicken Express and picked up some sustenance (chicken and mozzarella sticks for Buttercup, caffeine for me) to enjoy on the way to WalMart. Now, in Woo-Town, Chicken Express and WalMart are just about as far apart as they could be and still be in the same town, but somehow Buttercup only managed to stuff in one whole bite before I had parked and was ready to go in and shop. Of course, realizing that she was going to have to leave her meal in the car caused her to become suddenly ravenous! We sat in the van for ten minutes while she chowed down and I played Words With Friends.

When she was finally sated, we started to climb out of the van, but I opened my door to find a pick up pulling in the space next to me. He was close. So close that I wasn't going to be able to squeeze out of my door. I pulled it shut and watched as the driver of the truck spent several minutes attempting to BACK INTO the parking space. After an excruciating 26 point turn, he finally shut off his engine. Was that really better than having to back out of a parking spot upon leaving?

We finally got into the store. Buttercup insisted on holding the list for me...which would be much more helpful if she could actually read. I successfully distracted her from the toy department by suggesting that she pick out her own new toothbrush, but my shopping experience went downhill from that point on. She wasn't bad, exactly, but the Queen of Quite a Lot is just hard to shop with. Yesterday she was very helpful. Too helpful. Not only did she insist on holding the list for me, but she was also determined to physically get all of the items on the list. Buttercup is 3' 3" tall. And, (please excuse me, but I feel it bears repeating) can't read.

So, we developed a system for getting all of the necessary items into our cart. It went something like this...
Me: Okay, let me see what the next thing is (cheerful)
Buttercup: (holding list close and turning to shelter it from my view) No, I'LL tell you.
Me: Alright. What does it say is the next thing? (forced cheer)
Buttercup: (looks intently at list while furrowing brow) I can't read what these letters say.
Me: Here, I'll help you. (hopeful)
Buttercup: (turns the list ever so slightly toward me without loosening her vice like grip) What does it say?
Me: It says two cans of whole tomatoes.
Buttercup: Ask me, now.
Me: What's the next thing on the list?
Buttercup: (looks intently at list while furrowing brow) Two whole cans of tomatoes. Where do we get those?
Me: Over here...(proceed to area where they can be found)
Buttercup: I'LL get them.
Me: Okay, they're up here. (pointing to the shelf above my head)
Buttercup: I can't reach those! (exasperated)
Me: I'll get them. (reaching up and retrieving cans)
Buttercup: Okay, but I get to put them in.
Me: (obediently handing over cans)
Buttercup: Two cans of tomatoes holes. (literally throwing them into the cart)
Repeat, substituting various items.

Our shopping trip was punctuated by two restroom pit-stops, each being requested at the furthest possible point from any available restroom. It was accompanied by periods of Buttercup singing the same stanza of a song over and over and over and over again in between discussing the list. It was complicated by requests for a variety of foods and knickknacks that were not on our list. Finally, we had everything (or so I thought, but that's a blog for another day)! My feet hurt, my head hurt, I was tired and hungry, and I was struggling with my patience. I was thrilled to head toward the self-check.

Unfortunately, so was Buttercup. She wasn't finished "helping" me, yet. She unceremoniously unloaded our cart onto the belt while I hurried to check and bag everything. She was fast, and had the cart completely emptied onto the conveyor belt before I had a quarter of our haul checked through. Then the Queen of Quite a Lot took over the scanning and our progress slowed significantly. She was actually pretty good at finding and scanning the bar codes herself, and didn't refuse help when she had trouble. Eventually, she swiped my card for me, I signed, and then she tore off and stowed the receipt.

Our shopping trip took almost two hours. I have a new theory about all of those celebreties who end up in hospitals for exhaustion. I'm guessing their fatigue is brought on by too many assistants who are providing too much help. It all makes sense to me!

Our Photographer is the Best.

2011-08-22T20:12:00.000-07:00

And our kids are pretty darn spectacular, too!

WOW Is Just MOM Upside Down

2011-07-23T14:45:00.000-07:00

Parents, YOU are your kids' biggest boredom buster! You don't have to go out and spend a lot of money to spice up their summer (and yours, by the way)...get on the floor and be a kid again for a while. Here are some fun, free (or nearly free) things to do in these last few weeks of summer that will not only keep your family from being bored, but will also create memories together that will last a lifetime.

*Board Games - Buttercup is obsessed with board games. I think I know why...half an hour of mom or dad's undivided attention. Yep, she's a smart cookie! You know what's fun? Have a pajama day (just stay in them all day...you can do it, I know you can), and lay on the floor playing board games and/or card games. We have a giant cabinet full of games that seldom get played, and everyone has their favorites, so I usually let everyone pick out a game and we play them ALL!
*Theme Nights - Another Dirks family fave! We have done theme nights since the big girls were little girls. Pick a theme and apply creativity! The kids love to get into the planning and execution of theme nights. Some of our all time favorites have been:
Medieval Night - This night was a lot of fun! We executed this theme night with medieval recipes we found on-line, a jousting tourney (wherein Dad was the trusty steed), and costumes we put together with what we already had in our dress up box and closets.
Willy Wonka Night - Sweets abounded! We ate chocolate chip pancakes, chocolate dipped strawberries, chocolate milk, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate! We played Candy Land, and, of course, we watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Swiss Family Robinson Night - We tasted fried plantains, watermelon, fresh coconut (that we busted open in the kitchen with a hammer), and fresh pineapple. We sat on a beach blanket (which is actually an old sheet that we have with a sand/seashell pattern)and watched the movie. Last, we planned out our ideal, over-the-top, no-holds-barred fantasy tree house.
Ratatouille Night - I looked up a recipe for ratatouille and the kids helped me make it for the family, then we ate it while watching the movie.
*Family Movie Night - Wait! You're not going to watch anything...not yet, anyway. First, and foremost, you're going to MAKE a movie using the members of your family as the cast. We have filmed our crew acting out everything from Bible stories to Dirks Idol to fashion shows and everything in between. They are tons of fun to make and lots of laughs to watch. One fun part of this activity is that you are automatically creating a hard copy memory to enjoy together later.
*Fort Dirks - You know how you used to turn over two chairs when you were a kid and drape a sheet over them, then pretend it was a tent and play inside? We just take this idea and go wild. We'll have the whole house covered in sheets and blankets! They like to claim an area for themselves and outfit it creatively, play make believe games, and just lay inside and read. It looks like a giant mess, but once everyone returns their personal items back to their bedrooms, all that's left to do is fold sheets and blankets!
*Gun Fights - This is a big one at our house. We've even been known to drag our weaponry to grandma & grandpa's house at Christmas and get the extended family involved! Outside gun fights are usually water pistols. If you don't have enough, they're pretty cheap. Slather on the sunscreen, divide into teams, aim, and shoot! Inside, we play Nerf guns. It gets pretty rowdy (Jason's a little competitive!), but your kids will love you for it.
*Fun with Food - Have each family member responsible for planning a meal one week. Help them come up with a well rounded meal, make a shopping list, shop for the ingredients, and then have them do all of the meal preparation they can. Draw up a menu to keep on your refrigerator so everyone knows who is responsible for which night and what you'll be having. Focus on the togetherness and the experience, not on perfection!
*Geocaching - Geocaching is like a high tech treasure hunt. Loads of fun for everyone! Check out http://geocaching.com and become a member for free to find geocaches near you and read all about how to geocache. You can use a GPS device or download a free app for your smart phone.
*Hit the Library - Don't just go and check out books, check out all of the fun programs going on for all ages at your library. But DO check out some books, and read, read, read!
*Puppet Theater - We have a single sock drawer full of lonely socks just waiting to be made into puppets! You don't have to get fancy...pass out markers and let everyone decorate a couple of puppets. Then put on a show. Write your own script, act out a favorite story, or act out a bible story. Video tape your show and then watch it together. Get ready to giggle!

Whatever you do together, make sure you laugh...a lot!

Rough Days

2011-07-20T23:13:00.000-07:00

My little Buttercup has been in an awful mood that's lasted for DAYS. I have had insomnia and joint pain for DAYS. This morning she hopped in bed with me at 7:15 (after I had gotten not quite three hours of sleep) and tormented me until I finally dragged my tired and aching body out of bed and took her downstairs for breakfast. Once we got down there, she didn't want breakfast...she wanted to play Candy Land. Board games are her new obsession. Sometimes she wants to play by the rules, other times it's more like a game of make-believe using the pieces to act out stories. This morning, we moved our gingerbread men (girls, she insists) around the board by twos. Our girls were best friends and had to be shoulder to shoulder. So, we moved around the board, two by two until we were nearly at the end (with Buttercup's girls in the lead, of course). Seeing that she was about to win, thus ending the game, Buttercup switched her strategy so she could further monopolize my time. She dug through the discard pile and found "beds" for each of our girls. The beds were a double card in the color of each gingerbread man. Since we were no longer moving in an orderly fashion around the game board, our game could go on indefinitely! Yippee!

And so our day went, filled with lots of begging for snacks, multiple board game requests, movies that went unwatched, and one fit at WalMart that nearly had me sitting on the floor crying along with her. By the time I ran Bubba-Man to his guitar lessons at 3:00, I could barely keep my eyes open and neither could Buttercup, although she vehemently denied needing a nap. Even before we got to Robin's house for Bub's lesson, my stubborn little Buttercup was slumped over, fast asleep in the back seat. Since I can't lift my little lug (oh how not being able to lift my own child complicates parenting), I called J and he let me bring her to the church. He carried her into his office and laid her on his couch where she spent the next hour or so napping. I went home, crawled into bed to rest, and napped for two hours! I felt much better after my nap, but Buttercup was still just a hair on the needy side. Our day ended with her supper practically un-eaten, requests for movies we don't own, one game of Chutes and Ladders, multiple requests for snacks, and lots of tickling.

It was a rough day for me. I was tired, hurting, and at least as cranky as Buttercup. On days like this it's sometimes hard to remember what a blessing it is to have this little person who interrupts me and demands my time and attention. On days when there is so much whining, it's sometimes hard to let my heart leap with joy at the sound of her giggle. On days when she is never satisfied, it's hard to stand back and marvel at how smart she is as she tries to talk me in to getting her own way. On days like these, I'm tempted to look at the pizza around her mouth, the marker on her hands, and the dirt on the bottoms of her little feet instead of the beauty of her sky blue eyes, her wild mass of blond hair that looks more like a mane, or her soft and luminous skin. On these rough days, I often forget to soak up this time and lock it away in my memory. But even on days like these, once my little Buttercup is tucked in her bed and I'm tucked in mine, I am so very aware that there are tougher things than these rough days. Before I know it, my Buttercup will be someone else's Buttercup, grown and gone. This house will be still and quiet and empty. There won't be board games and make believe and fit throwing in WalMart. And when those days are here, I want to be able to open up my memory and pull out days like today and see and smell and hear and feel every detail of them. I want to savor all of my days with these precious children of mine. Yes, even the rough days.

Sunshine and Rain

2011-07-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

Earlier this summer, we found Princeska and Buttercup playing this game in our front yard. They would "go to bed" on the front walk, under their umbrellas. When they "woke up," they would "sneak up" on the sprinkler, using the umbrellas to shield themselves from the spray. Buttercup would keep her little hand on Princeska's shoulder as Princeska coached and encouraged her while facing their nemesis: the sprinkler. Eventually, they ran shrieking back to the front walk and the game started all over again.

I love so many things about this little game! Seeing them play evokes memory after memory of my sister and I playing outside together. We had snail school, swung from trees like monkeys, pretended to be amazons, caught lizards to train, used our swing set to train for high wire acts (death defying ones, of course)...and many other front yard adventures. We spent hours playing make believe games in our yard. Sometimes things got messy (once I stepped on and killed a lizard that was really slow...I cried and cried, I was so upset). Sometimes things got embarrassing (jumping over the wrought iron gate while playing spies and ripping my shorts clean off). I think we spent every waking moment outside and on the move!

I'm not even sure I can express what it is about seeing them play together oblivious to my presence that is so special to me. I love that my girls love each other. I love that they love being outside. I love the creativity of an imaginary game, unhindered by the bounds of reality. I am so tickled that they somehow came up with the idea of playing in the sprinklers, but with umbrellas. I love listening to the sound of their giggles as they enjoy God's creation and each other. I feel so blessed that they are friends and I pray that they will always be there for each other and share the same close relationship that Marcy and I do. And I feel privileged to find myself immersed in one of life's moments that deserves to be soaked up and savored, saved in my heart and mind, frozen in time.

Tie-Dyed Cupcakes

2011-07-10T18:09:00.000-07:00

I'm a little embarrassed to post the directions for making these adorable cupcakes...now all of you will know how simple they are to make! But I've promised the "recipe" to so many people that blogging the instructions seems to be the easiest way to share it. So, here it is...my secret is out!

You will need:

*One white cake mix and the ingredients called for on the box

*Food coloring: purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, and red (I'm cheap...I just got red, blue, & yellow and mixed to make my orange, green, & purple!)

*Baker's Joy cooking spray

*Two cans of white frosting

*Several disposable icing bags and a star tip

Step One...The Cake:

1. Prepare cake mix as directed on the box.

2. Divide the cake mix as evenly as possible (I just eye-balled it) among six small bowls.

3. Adding two drops of color at a time until desired intensity of color is reached, color batter so that you have one of each color (purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, & red). Add more color for a bright tie-dye or less color for a more pastel look.

4. Spray muffin tin with baker's joy.

5. Drop one table spoon of batter into each muffin cup in the following order: purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, red. DO NOT MIX!

6. Bake according to package directions.

Step Two...The Frosting:

1. Cool cupcakes completely before frosting.

2. Cut off the tip of the decorator bag. Insert the star tip (through the large, open end) and pull through the cut tip until all but about half an inch is outside of the bag.

3. Divide frosting between three bowls.

4. Adding two drops of color at a time until desired intensity of color is reached, color the icing so that you have one bowl of each of these colors: blue, yellow, & red. Be sure to mix well.

5. Roll the decorator bag down so that you can more easily get to the bottom (where the tip is).

6. Here's the trickiest part: Carefully layer a spoonful of each color (in this order: blue, yellow, red) into the decorator bag so that the colors are alternating. The first spoonful of blue will cover the tip. On top of that, put one spoonful of yellow, then one spoonful of red, so that they are sitting side by side on top of the blue. All three colors will be on the next layer. For each subsequent layer, rotate the order of colors so that the same colors never touch each other.

7. DO NOT MIX ICING LAYERS TOGETHER!

8. Starting on the outside of each cupcake, pipe icing clockwise spiraling in toward the center and end in a swirl.

Voila!!!

Colorado Adventure 2011

2011-06-24T08:58:00.001-07:00

We set out for our annual camping trip this year with only a vague idea of where we would end up! Normally, this is the kind of scenario that pushes me over the edge, but I determined early on in our vacation "planning" that I wasn't going to get angry this year. I admit there were a few snarky comments, but for the most part, I rolled with the punches. All of this to explain why I am ignorant of the decision making process that led us to our first campground of the trip: Blue Lake.

We picked out our spot, which was set next to a stream amongst the conifers, checked in with Cliff (our host), and set up camp while the younger kids explored. Loved the site immediately, but once we had the work done and got to look around I was amazed that we had basically stumbled onto such an amazing place. Blue Lake was just a short hike from our site and we spent a couple of happy afternoons fishing there. We were also surrounded by trails through the picturesque mountain scenery so pristine it almost seemed unreal. One hike led us to Bear Lake, a few hundred feet higher than Blue Lake, which was even more beautiful.

We spent one morning in the nearby town of Cuchara, which was a charming mountain village. We perused the local antique store and gift shop, then enjoyed ice cream outside where a young man decked out in gangsta garb strummed his acoustic guitar and belted out country tunes with a surprisingly pleasant voice. Haddon found some flies he needed and purchased a gnat, a red ant, and a mosquito fly for $2 each. Jason and I purchased ice and fishing licenses, then the lot of us headed back into the wilderness.

We spent two gorgeous (but pretty windy) days hiking, fishing, exploring, laughing and two nights roasting marshmallows, telling stories, sitting by the campfire, before we decided that we'd like to pack up and move. Again, we had a direction in which we were driving, but no real "plan" about where we would end up. Unfortunately, we'd left our tent camping guide at home, but I had a list of sites we had starred as possibilities, so we ended up at Golden Gate State Park. We chose the Aspen Meadows Loop site unseen because it was reserved for tent campers only. When we got to our site...WOW. Site number two sat amongst Aspen trees and wild flowers on the edge of a meadow. Boulders large and small were scattered throughout the campground, sometimes piled up on top of each other like mini mountains waiting to be conquered by Dirks children. So beautiful, and so different from our Blue Lake campsite!

That night we visited Reverend's Ridge and Panorama Point, played hide and seek, cooked supper in the rain under the shelter of our dining canopy, and enjoyed our first hot showers in three days! Ahhhhhh... It rained off and on all evening the first night, and Jason had me sleep with Buttercup in the van where we stayed toasty warm and comfy. Imagine my surprise when J woke me up the next morning to announce SNOW. He wasn't kidding! There was snow everywhere. There wasn't a lot of it, but it was wet and heavy. The weight of it snapped the legs of our dining canopy and collapsed part of the tent's rain fly. Snow filled Jason & Bella's hiking boots that were sitting under the (failed) tent awning. We got everyone woken up and they dressed as Bella, Jason, and I cleared snow from our gear. It was a cold 38 degrees and still rainy/snowy, so we loaded up the van and headed in to Lakeside for some indoor recreation. Breakfast at Burger King, the movies, lunch at Champa St. Burger Works (YUM!), shopping, shopping, shopping, then we headed back to our campsite. Bubba-Man took down our poor, fallen canopy while J and Bella set up our newly purchased (heavy-duty, I might add) dining canopy. The sun came out in time for us to enjoy it while we made supper and ate!

We had absolutely gorgeous weather the rest of our stay at Golden Gate State Park! We spent our time hiking, fishing, laughing, story telling, exploring the ruins around the park, trying to get our wet wood to burn, and enjoying each other's company. Wednesday came too soon...time to head home. We packed up camp in record time and pointed the van toward Denver. Detour! Had to explore Red Rock Park a bit...what an amazing place. Filled with red rock monoliths and a natural rock amphitheater, Red Rock Park seems like something from another planet.

After leaving Red Rocks, we took the kiddos to Casa Bonita for lunch! Princeska chatted up the maitre de, scoring us seats right by the waterfall! YES!!! The kids loved the cliff diver and Princeska and Buttercup giggled uncontrollably at the silly gunfight and princess shows. Of course, we had to spend some time and money in the arcade, then we were off again to Grandma and Papa's house where we spent the final night of our vacation in the lap of luxury.

Best moments of our trip: Princeska catching her first fish EVER, getting giddy over the snow, Bella cooking every meal (woo-hoo!!!), Buttercup saying, "Watch how I do this, Dad," then flipping herself around to cross the log bridge backwards, Jason breaking all the tongs off his fork and then insisting on eating with it anyway, making up our own imaginary animals in the van and having Lulu draw them for us, discovering the ruins of a homestead that wasn't on our trail map, Bubba-man lighting our fire with his flint & pocket knife, Princeska's giggle during the Casa Bonita gunfight show, watching the fish jump in Blue Lake, roasting marshmallows together, spotting five long horn sheep, finding a beaver dam, discovering a bee hive in a cave at Red Rock Park, Princeska spoon feeding Buttercup hot chocolate, and laughing until my stomach hurt. Can't wait for next year!

Snapshots

2011-04-02T20:07:00.000-07:00

In the last 6 months, we have:

been underground, been on top of snowy peaks, been across the world, played yard football, played city league football, watched Boomer football, been mad as hatters, baked topsy-turvy cakes, had family hikes, celebrated Christmas, enjoyed the best of friends, turned 3 years old, started college, finished high school, baked barbie cakes, been to dance competitions, worked, played, been to Hollywood Boulevard, fell down, played in recitals, rode bikes on Venice boardwalk, explored Joshua Tree, ended up in Palm Springs, worshipped inside and out, helped a friend, been to horse camp, hung out with friends, gotten wet, stayed dry, danced with joy and pain, laughed, cried, slept, ate, played, prayed, dreamt, held hands, held each other up, loved each other, made memories that will last a lifetime, and been blessed beyond measure.

The School of Hard Knocks

2010-08-11T15:06:00.000-07:00

Things I learned at Camp RedCloud this summer:

*I'd rather sleep on the floor than in a bunk bed with a plastic-ish mattress.
*My girls amaze me!
*Logan knows the lyrics to any song I can name...even the ones from the 80s...and he's 14!
*Some people need to learn to trust in things outside of themselves and some people need to learn to trust in themselves.
*I could really get into a daily hour long quiet time outside in the mountains.
*Fear is a strong motivator, but apparently so is pride.
*I wasn't really trusting cables and carabiners and ropes, I was trusting the people who told me those cables and carabiners and ropes would hold ten times my weight.
*I have a hard time letting people figure things out for themselves...I want to rush in with my Wonder Woman magic lasso and rescue them.
*People get belligerent and rude when pushed to do something that scares them.
*My God owns the cattle on a thousand hills and He will meet my needs!
*I'm fatter than I thought I was.
*I would rather climb a thousand rock walls, rappel from insane heights, drop from a 50 ft. platform and swing like a pendulum, or climb a 14er every day than deal with the daily grind.
*I NEED to write. I'm drowning without this outlet.
*My Lulu is tough as nails. She has a fierce determination not to give in to her fear.
*I cry more for other people than I do for myself.
*I'm a dork. And, guess what? I like myself that way.
*BIFF means "bathroom in forest floor."

*It's a tradition to kiss the carabiners at the top of your climb...AND, the carabiners taste like salt and metal.
*I don't like to be taken care of, but sometimes I need to be...and that's OKAY.
*Your rappelling instructor means it when he says not to hold onto the rope in front of you...major rope burn.
*Shout "pillar" BEFORE you pop a squat, because even though "pillar" means to look away, people's initial reaction is to look toward the person hollering "pillar!"
*Fear the hook. Argh!
*I'm a sucker for a silly camp song.
*Having anyone other than Jason belay me makes me pretty nervous.
*I'm addicted to the Internet, caffeine, salt, and my husband.
*Bella isn't (just) bossy...she is a natural leader.
*Sometimes I need to quit talking to God and just listen.
*It isn't love that makes the world go 'round...actually it's cheese.
*Paul is a mountain man deluxe!
*Things that are easy are never as rewarding to accomplish as things that are difficult.
*It is possible to pop a squat off the weather port deck without actually leaving the decking, but it's surprisingly difficult.
*Fear can paralyze us in more than one way.
*A surprising number of girls grow into teenagers and even into women without ever learning the fine art of peeing outdoors. Shocking.
*Apparently there is a whole system for ranking your BIFF. I hope to never participate.
*I like my whitewater rafting rough.
*I am NOT addicted to my cell phone.
*I need to memorize Philippians 2:14-18 and apply it.

*Apparently deer slapping is a hobby?
*How much our students learn from the godly example of young adults they can look up to.
*If ground squirrels had the intelligence to match their tenacity, they would be ruling the world.
*It's good to get time away and focus on the Lord.

The Face of A Child Can Say It All, Especially the Mouth Part of the Face

2010-07-27T12:37:00.000-07:00

Here are some of my favorite things said by kids (okay, mostly my kids...but I'm around them a lot):

Words of Wisdom by Jaxon:

*"Moms sure are beautifuller when their babies are littler. They just keep getting grosser and grosser." -while reading Love You Forever.

*"The Lord, the Lord has defeated all the injas!" - sung in a very low, monotone voice. (Injas are ninjas.)

*"Mom, will Jett and I be old men together?" (yes baby.) "Ok, well, will we live together when we are old." (If you want to I guess.) "Ok, well, I think we will be be best brothers forever and defeat ninjas."

*"When I get married I'm going to do gooder and gooder things for my womans. I wonder how many womans I'm going to have when I grow up."

*"So is Jaxon from the bible?" (Well no honey we just really liked that name.) "Oh. So you didn't give me like a ninja name or anything?" (No honey, we didn't know you'd like ninjas. But Jaxon Tate is an old cowboy name I think.) "Really? Which cowboy was he? Like from the movie we watched?" (Yeah like him the one who captured bad guys and saved the ladies.) "Well which one was he? The black hat one?" (Yeah honey that one.) "Hmmmm ok." -discussing how he was named

*"Mom I like strangers. Except the kind that say hey little kid come get in my car I got some candy for ya."

*(Bye Jaxon. I'll call you later.) "Ok mom... Wait, teleport or just call?" (Umm teleport..) "Ok."

*"I'm allergic to tornadoes."

*"I miss the old days." (Jaxon is 5!)

The World According To Haven:

*In the car as a semi hauling bales of hay passes, "That guy's got a big nest."

*Points to her nipples, "These are my ankles." Points to my chest, "You have ankles, too. Your ankles are big because you're big. My ankles are little...and clean. You need to wash your ankles."

*"Wat up, dude-Mom?"

*"I'm a good mouth talker!"

*Sigh..."This is hurting a lot." I look up to see a q-tip sticking out of each of her nostrils.

*After being straight-cathed at the ER..."It is NOT fun when the doctor pushes down on your bottom. Going to the playground is fun...pushing down your bottom...not fun."

*Brushing her hair out of her face..."My hair is on backward!"

*Me: "Is that something you can do by yourself?"

Buttercup: "Yes, only one thing...you have to help me."

*Bella, finding Buttercup in the laundry basket: "What's wrong?"

Buttercup: "Avery won't play fashion with me so now all I have to do is sit in this box and be alone."

*While looking into my sewing basket: "I found a measure of courage lit by hope's eternal flame!"

*"I have one brother and three moms!" (referring to her brother and three SISTERS)

*While "preaching": "What does the Bible say...about chapstick?"

*"Hannah, I'm going to light you on fire. Everything will be alright."

*Bella: "Just one more time Haven!"

Buttercup: "Okay! And then again and again and again!"

Big Kids are Funny, Too!

*Princeska to Bella: "I was thinking I could borrow one of your belts cause your hips aren't very big. Not as big as your head or anything."

* Bella: "Is gunmentery a word?"

Me: "Haha! No!"

Bella: "Rifleshippery?"

Me: "Riflery?"

*Lulu: I get why the lady in those tanning ads is really brown & wears a bikini everywhere, but why does she have a man voice? Did she get throat cancer, too???

*Bella: I teach children to literacy.

*Princeska (while listening to "Leader of the Pack): "I really like how he turns around and goes and picks her up on his motorcycle cause thats like, you know, true love!"

*Lulu: I think I just saw my cat fly by the window.

*Lulu: "So what's wrong with me?"

Bella: "Your brain is square."

Lulu: "Well that's no good. At least Monk could eat it on a sandwich."

*Lulu: "I have an ice cream lipstache!"

Bella: "You mean mustache?"

Lulu:"Uh no. It's on my lip not my mus!"

*Princeska: "The longest word in the dictionary is smile! Get it! S-mile! Mile!"

Bella: "What about league?"

Buttercup: "Or poop?!"

*When you're running there's no encouragement like a naked three year old doing jumping jacks while holding ping pong paddles and yelling, "Go Hannah go!!! Go Hannah go!!! Wow!!! You're so fast!!!"

*Lulu: "I'm pretty sure armadillos do indeed have magical powers. Have you seen those things?! Plumb unnatural."

*Lulu: "I bet I can name 5 animals with tusks right here and now"

Bella: "Go for it!"

Lulu: "Hog. Porcupine. Snake. Ballerina. Iguana. I win."

*Princeska: "I'm putting lots of detail to my paper snowman. It makes it fancier. Or as the cake boss says, it 'brings it to life.'

*Lulu: "You just can't trust a person with no teeth. If they can't afford dentures then they can't afford to be honest."

*Lulu: "Oh this loads really slow. When I try to get on it I open another window cause I get impatient. Or I put my hands on the screen and chant."

*Lulu's version of the Olive Garden commercials: "Hi! My family and I are all supermodels and love each other! These noodles are so good! It makes us burst into spontaneous laughter!!!"

*Bella: I think Dora's a hoarder. Have you seen what all she keeps in her backpack?! What are we teaching children these days?!

*Bella: There is a fine line between being tan and looking like you've rolled in doritos. Please fry yourself with discretion

*While cutting up sweet potatoes, Bella expressed her relief at finally coming across a skinny one that was easier to cut. Lulu reprimanded her, "Hannah, I'm ashamed. There is so much more to love in one of those fat yams. Don't be judgmental."

*Max: "You should play football with us next time!"

Bella: "but I'm really bad at football!!!"

Max: "well that's what practice is for you dingus!"

*Bubba-Man to Jackson: "We can shoot my bb gun, but we have to follow all the rules, like don't shoot the neighbor's dog..."

*Bella: (panicky) "Stop! What are you doing??? Don't drink after me!!!"

Caleb: "What?!?!"

Lulu: "They're like Romeo and Juliet!"

*Lulu: "You lured me in with your seductive voice! Oh ya. I forgot what your voice actually sounded like this morning."

*Lulu starts to dance...Bella: "Addy! Your butt dance is..."

Lulu: "Madly attractive?!"

Buttercup: "I think it's beautiful!"

Parenting Moments:

*Bubba-man: "What did the hospital do with my appendix?"

Dad: "Sold it to a Chinese restauraunt."

*Lulu: "Mother, will you smooth out your eyebrow?"

Me: lick finger and procede to smooth...

Lulu: "Uuuhhhhh, nope."

*We do highs and lows at the dinner table . One night J asked Buttercup, "Did you have a good high today?"

*Christmas quote of the year by J to Buttercup: "That's right, Haven. Baby Jesus is important, because without him, Christmas would be about Hell."

Runner's Remorse

2010-05-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

I seem to have, in a momentary but deep lapse of judgement, agreed to run the Muddy Buddy race with my husband. Some people know Muddy Buddies as a delicious concoction of chex cereal coated in chocolate, peanut butter, and powdered sugar (also known as "puppy chow"). If you are one such person, do not be confused...this race, unfortunately, in no way involves tasty treats. What is a Muddy Buddy race, then? Basically, it is a team effort to both challenge yourself physically while simultaneously getting as dirty as humanly possible.

Here's how it works...

As previously mentioned, the race is run by partners. Racing partners start at the same time, one running and one biking. The 6 miles long course is separated into 5 legs by obstacles along the way. The first obstacle is near the one mile mark. Assuming that the biker is traveling faster than the runner, the biker will approach the first obstacles transition area first. The biker will drop the bike and conquer the obstacle and start running to the 2nd transition/obstacle. The runner will then approach the first transition area, conquer the obstacle, find the bike and start riding to the 2nd transition/obstacle area. The team will continue to leap frog throughout the course switching from biking and running along the way. Because the course has five legs. .
There will be five obstacles on each Muddy Buddy course. The obstacles can be challenges such as a cargo net crawl, a wall, monkey bars, or a hay bale obstacle. At the end of the race, teams have to conquer the famous Mud Pit before crossing the finish line together.

If this sounds like great fun to you, Jason may be looking for a new partner soon! I have tried to weasel my way out of this while at the same time trying not to look like a weenie. I've used the, "Maybe you'd like to compete with one of your cyclist friends...that way you'd actually have a chance to win..." method; the "Gosh, I sure hope my knees are up to this," cop-out; and the hugely unsuccessful, "What, the Muddy Buddy? I don't remember you asking me about that..." out-right lie. So far, he's not biting. Looks like I'm in, like it or not. Okay, knees, the rest of us is up for the challenge...don't fail me now!

Hodge Podge

2010-04-28T14:46:00.000-07:00

Since I can't seem to formulate a complete sentence, let alone a coherent blog, here is a hodge podge of blog fodder.

*Avery Isabelle turned 7! She had 8 guests over to spend the night. Yes, I'm crazy. BUT, all of her friends seem to be having slumber parties, too, so apparently the slumber party is a required element of the first grader's social life.

*Haven Esther is a maniac. If we have it, she doesn't want it. When she gets hurt, she gets angry (yes, i realize she gets that from me). She knows a few sight words. Although I am trying feverishly to stunt her intellectual growth with fast food, movies, and not working with her at all, she seems intent on achieving child genius status. Haven will pee in the potty, but she will NOT poop in it.

*There is a pile of laundry on my chair that, if it topples over, could crush a small child...or a medium sized child.

*We are enjoying 4 soccer games every Saturday. Or, rather, we would be enjoying them if the Oklahoma wind didn't blow us sideways with every gust. Bub and Princeska are both playing, and Jason and I find ourselves parking our chairs in between fields and then looking from side to side like fans at an intense tennis match. At the fields, Haven: runs around, pets people's dogs, begs us for snacks we don't have while rejecting the ones we do have, follows a group of 5-7 year old girls around wherever they go, mooches beverages off of other soccer moms, and cheers for Avery & her team..."Goooooo, Funder! Good job, Avery! Shoot it, green!"

*There is a lot of green snot and coughing at my house. Yeah, it's great.

*It's almost summer. The words "bathing suit season" usually strike fear in my heart, but I just don't really care right now. Not that I think I'm going to be looking hot in my bikini, but I just have too many other things to worry about as of late. Besides, the way our summer schedule is shaping up, I'm not going to have a whole lot of time to swim.

*Hannah is taking physics. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached a subject that I am completely unable to help her with. Good times.

*Jason and I tried to get away to OKC for three days. We had a really nice hotel in bricktown...we had a suite. But, life happens and we actually spent less than 24 hours alone in our "love shack." The kids joined us the morning of the second day. Hannah and I napped and took in a movie while Jason took the other 4 to the zoo. We met up for supper and walked to a Mexican restaurant nearby where Haven so completely charmed the manager that he took $10 off our bill just because he liked her. The next morning we walked to the art fair downtown. We didn't get to spend much time browsing...mainly because Haddon kept insisting that "so much art bothers my eyes." Although, really, it WAS close to lunch time, Addy wandered off and scared me to death, and we hadn't brought anything to drink, so all those factors played in too. I was really disappointed. I'm really not disappointed in my children very much, but at the art fair, I didn't feel like our family was a cohesive group. I felt like we were just a bunch of individuals, all looking out for number one. We ate lunch at Toby Keith's I Love This Bar & Grill, then headed back to Woodward. We pulled up in our driveway two hours later to find a group of our church family cleaning up our backyard. We surprised them, too, since they weren't expecting us home until the next day! They were mowing, edging, raking, and sweeping. They were amazing. We walked in the house to find that they had also tidied there! AND they left fresh flowers and a basket of our favorite snacks on the table.

*Hannah is almost entirely in her senior subjects. I am panicking as college seems right around the corner. Am I ready for this? Is she?

*Lulu continues to prove that in spite of her unassuming exterior, inside dwells a spiritual superhero. She is amazing. Can't wait to go on mission with her in September. Look out, Guatemala, here we come!

*Bubba-man has been super hypochondriacal since his appendectomy. It's driving me CRAZY! What to do about that???

*I feel pulled in a million directions. One minute I'm fine, the next I'm crying in the middle of Taco Mayo. I feel sad that Hannah doesn't need me any more and frustrated that Haven needs me so much. I want to have it all together, but I can't seem to achieve that. I wish I could learn to not be so honest...or at least to just keep my mouth shut. I have so much to say that I don't know what to write.

Maybe there will be a coherent blog sometime in the near future. Or, maybe not.

Super Mom Rides Again!

2010-04-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

Yes, I idiotically thought I'd just do the whole banquet myself...the planning, cooking, decorating, entertainment, and clean up. Thank goodness some of you recognized the the insanity and stepped in.
In short, the room was decorated, the game was played, the food was thoroughly cooked, and miraculously it all got cleaned up in time for church the next morning. Remind me of this next year, will ya'?

Some Kids Will Do ANYTHING to Get Out of School

2010-03-03T13:32:00.000-08:00

Almost every day at school Haddon asks me if he can go home with me. I'm serious, almost every day. He likes school, don't get me wrong, he'd just prefer to be at home reading, playing the wii, and creating Star Wars battle strategies. He won't out and out LIE to get out of school, but he will take any little thing and try to twist it into an excuse to stay home. Well, this week he out-did himself!

Monday night, after eating supper, Haddon said his tummy hurt. He didn't feel like he was going to throw up, but it hurt when he moved, laughed, sneezed, etc. (Red flag #1) I sent him upstairs to take a shower, but when I didn't hear the water turn on after twenty minutes or so, I went up to check on him. He was in his pajamas and laying in bed. "I got stuck in my bed," he said. Since he was already laying down I poked around on his belly. It hurt below his belly button. He said it hurt on both sides, but as I pressed, he said it hurt worse on the right side. In fact, it hurt on the right side when I pressed on the left side. (Red flags #2 & #3) It even hurt more when I let go then when I pressed down...hello, red flag #4! I started grilling him about his bowel habits and discovered that he hadn't pooped on Monday. (Red flag #5) Being the uber mom that I am, I made my son get in the shower anyway. My exact thought was, "If he's going to have to have surgery, he'd better be clean!"

But, he slept all night. Like a log. When he got up I asked him how his tummy was and he just said, "The same." He didn't eat any breakfast, which is unusual for him, but he seemed okay. So, off to school he went. I put in a call to my favorite nurse, Dawn, so that she could talk me down. That plan kind of backfired, fortunately, when she said that I'd better bring him in to be looked at. We set an appointment for 12:15, when he'd be at lunch. I checked in on him several times during the day. He seemed fine, but very still. I could tell that he was really guarding himself, trying not to jar himself or move too much. That worried me, but then he ate two cheeseburgers and fries for lunch!

I ended up taking him in to see Dr. K. and then the next three hours went very quickly. We went straight from Dr. K's office to the surgeon's office to the hospital to surgery to recovery. I went from suspicious to worried to justified to relieved. Jason went from skeptical to worried to relieved to indifferent.

Haddon was alert and not in much pain right after surgery. He's such a trooper! He had an entire entourage of hospital volunteers fawning over him both before and after surgery. His respiratory therapist couldn't get over how cooperative he was. He did so well that he got to come home less than 24 hours after his appendectomy! He's a little pale & has three holes in his belly, but other than that he seems good as new.

He is now comfortably enjoying his hard-earned mini-vacation at home. He can't go back to school until Monday...Dr.'s orders. He's filling his time with movies, computer games, the Wii, and army guys. He's eating like a horse! And even though he walks around like an old man, he doesn't complain a bit (except that his tummy is still bloated and funny looking). If the surgeon hadn't confirmed post-surgery that Bub did, in fact, have appendicitis, I'd think he faked the whole episode just to get out of school for a few days!

Biting Off More Than I Can Chew

2010-02-23T07:09:00.001-08:00

The theme of my life...well, that and "flying by the seat of my pants."

February is science fair month at the academy. The Dirks bunch has a long standing tradition at the science fair. We like to win it. I am all about the science projects. I love it when the kids come up with their own ideas and then we work together to come up with a scientific method to test them. Unfortunately, my kids think BIG.

It started when Hannah was a third grader embarking on her first science fair adventure. She wanted to watch roots grow, so we came up with a plan to make a planter bisected at an angle with Plexiglas to make roots visible. Great plan. However, my little Hannah was absolutely set on doing the project by herself. When she insisted that having her parents cut the Tupperware with the saw was CHEATING, we had to put in a call to Miss W who graciously explained to Hannah that parents could, in fact, do all of the power tooling necessary to complete the project. Hannah tied for Grand Champion that year...WITH A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL.

Addy's first year she wanted to investigate the causes of tsunamis. After a lot of research, she found that there are three natural causes of tidal waves: wind, land slide, and earthquake. Then we developed three simulators to test which created the largest waves. (Simulator is a pretty fancy word for what we did which involved huge Rubbermaid's, water, sand, wood, bricks, wire, and a fan.) It would have been much easier to choose her project for her...something simple, but she learned a lot. Addy won her division that year.

Through the years, we have: tested how different genres of music affect heart rate, found which stain treaters work best on common stains, found out which brand of paper towel is the strongest, tested whether Diet Dr. Pepper actually tastes like Dr. Pepper, hung nails in different beverages to see if any of them caused corrosion, tested whether boys or girls have more cavities, observed whether or not shoppers are more helpful to somebody who is dressed nicely or to somebody who is dressed shabbily (neither, it turns out), built biomes, investigated the Bermuda Triangle, and tried to determine if (in our area) people lived longer in the past or now. These experiments have involved hundreds of volunteers, dozens of seeds, hours upon hours of research, engineering and re-engineering, thinking and re-thinking, observing, recording, interviews, and approximately 27 hours of footwork in Woodward's cemetery writing down the birth and death dates from every tombstone (there are 8000+ by the way)and then averaged the length of years lived for every ten year period. We may have gone overboard a few times, but Dirks kids have won their divisions or Grand Champion every year. EVERY YEAR. The first year Hannah was beaten out for Grand Champion was traumatic; for all of us. Even though she'd won her division, she was livid that she hadn't won the fair. She was like the spoiled private school girl of movies, "This is MY science fair." She wasn't kidding. She began planning for the next year almost immediately, sure that her superior planning and intellect would put her back on top. It did.

The last two years we have had three children doing science projects! This year Hannah did a research paper on global warming. Since she can drive herself to and from the library (YAY!) and write her own well thought out paper, all I had to do was proof read it. Addy was a little bit at a loss this year, but she researched some fun things on the computer and found a project she could be excited about. She dropped different objects in club soda and observed what happened. Some things floated, some things sank, and some things sank, floated to the top, then sank again, repeat. It wasn't a difficult project, but we tested a ridiculous variety of items so it took a while! Haddon's project, on the other hand, was a doozie! He wanted to build a catapult. Or, rather, he wanted to build several catapults...in different styles. I talked with him about what he hoped to learn by building these catapults and we came up with a project idea. He would build three different styles of (desktop, which was a huge compromise on his part) catapults, then launch marshmallows with them and see which one could launch them the furthest. We found plans for five different kinds online that we thought would be do-able and chose three. Somehow Jason didn't get that memo, however, and we ended up building four since he was under the assumption that we were making all five types we had researched. The building process took longer than we'd anticipated because...well, because it always does. We finally had all catapults made the night before everything was due, but we had yet to test them. So, the next morning at school, Haddon and I hung out in the gym after opening assembly and fired each catapult five times, measuring and recording each launch. It was fun! They all worked, two of them worked really well. I even sustained a war wound when Haddon let go of the tape measure before I was quite ready and when it recoiled my finger got in the way and was sliced. Then he got to go into his classroom and launch mini marshmallows into all of his classmates' mouths! I got to go to my office and superglue my finger.

I am loathe to tell my kids that they cannot do something for the science fair that they are truly interested in. I, often, have to fight the impulse to steer them, bully them, influence them that their project is too hard, too involved, not hard enough, or not the best way to test what they are eager to find out. I often grimace at their backboards when they are hand-written or crooked or when things have been glued on, pulled off, then re-adhered. But, I think it is sometimes those things that tip the judges of that these are projects that are actually thought up and done by the student, not his or her parents. True, I make myself very available to help in any way my kids need me, but it's their baby and it shows. I think it would be easier to choose for them. To check out a book or log on to a website and follow the step-by-step instructions found there. However, my kids LOVE their projects...and I am convinced that even though they might create a lot more work for themselves and their parents, they would not learn as much by doing a project they weren't excited about.

So, next year, bring it on. Life sized catapults, blood pressure cuffs, microscopes, Geiger counters...I'm game. But, for this year, I'm glad it's over!

A Series of Unfortunate Events

2010-02-17T10:38:00.000-08:00

-Sadly, Haven Esther woke up from her nap sick with fever and congestion on Thursday.
-Woefully, she was diagnosed with RSV on Friday.
-Cataclysmically, I gave an employee bad advice that same afternoon.
-Unhappily, Haven did not sleep Friday night and was no better on Saturday.
-Discouragingly, Haven needed to be held all day.
-Unluckily, Haddon started coughing Saturday night.
-Banefully, Haven and I couldn't go to church on Sunday.
-Disastrously, one of my teachers resigned Sunday night...with no notice.
-Shatteringly, Haven didn't sleep all night AGAIN.
-Calamitously, two more teachers called in sick on Monday and I could only find one sub betwixt all three.
-Tragically, it was the week of our big garage sale.
-Annoyingly, Haven could not keep from puking when she coughed.
-Crushingly, both of my secretaries got sick and/or had sick kids and were more miss than hit the rest of the week.
-Accidentally, one of the microwaves at the school caught fire.
-Painfully, Haven developed an ear infection.
-Frighteningly, she cried for over an hour, but had no tears to spare because of dehydration.
-Diligently, we stayed up all night (yet again) and pushed fluids.
-Disgustingly, Haven's ear was dripping gunk the next morning, but...
-Miraculously, she felt a lot better.
-Incidentally, I was ill-prepared for the garage sale, as were most of the parents of WCA.
-Doggedly, I marked garage sale items until the wee hours of the night.
-Dejectedly, I crawled out of bed after only a couple of hours of sleep.
-Determinedly, I sipped coffee and prepared for the big sale.
-Providentially, plenty of helpers arrived.
-Blessedly, the school raised a lot of money.
-Exhaustedly, a skeleton crew emptied the entire gym, hauling it all to the dump and OARC.
-Bitterly, I realized that I wasn't just tired, but sick as well.
-Lethargically, I laid on the couch and sipped cold water.
-Consequently, my house was taken over by it's contents like a field is eventually reclaimed by the jungle it was carved out of.
-Dismally, I blew my nose and felt sorry for myself.
-Unbelievably, Haddon got worse and not better.
-Unfortunately, it isn't summer...yet.

Yes, please...I'd like a little cheese with that whine!

Murphy's Law

2010-02-10T13:18:00.000-08:00

She's a Very Busy Girl...

2010-01-28T17:13:00.000-08:00

Today was a snow day. No school! Unfortunately, in addition to the blizzard outside, Hurricane Haven was full force inside. This is a very busy girl...she is like the perfect storm. If the Energizer Bunny married Dennis the Menace and they had kids, well, they would be Haven. She loves to "work" around the house with mom. Today:

Haven sewed with me. I was working on a sling when she climbed up on the chair behind me, put her little feet into the small of my back, locked her knees, and said, "It's my turn now. It's Haven's turn!" Apparently "Haven's turn" sewing involved making several adjustments to my sewing machine and completely unloading my thread box whilst stacking as many as possible on top of the machine.

I decided that being snowed in (or whatever since we didn't actually get any snow until late afternoon) would provide the perfect opportunity to work on potty training, so Haven went diaperless or with panties all morning. She managed not to pee in her panties or on the floor, but also refused to sit on her potty chair whenever I suggested it. Apparently she used it on her own at least once, however...a fact that I discovered when I found her baby doll sitting in the potty chair and upon closer inspection found to be hip deep in urine. Lovely.

Next, we baked blondies (you know...kind of a brownie without the chocolate). Well, I baked blondies and Haven repeatedly stuck clean utensils into the batter and "helped" me. Just to make this clear, I did not invite Miss Haven to help me with the baking. Rather, I went to the pantry to get cooking spray and by the time I got back into the kitchen she had pushed a chair up to the counter, climbed on top of it, and proceeded to dirty every utensil in the drawer.

After lunch we marked garage sale items for the school garage sale. Haven was very, shall we say, active in the process. She was all about unloading the boxes and bags and then re-loading them with both marked and unmarked garage sale goodies. She really had a high time when she found a bag of craft goodies to sort. Haven "sorted" them all over my carpet. I'll be vacuuming them up for weeks.

After nap and a snack, I reorganized the DVDs and attempted to match all of the empty cases with the caseless disks. Haven focused on removing all of the VHS tapes from their cases, stacking them in piles on the floor, then returning the empty cases to the rack. What a helper!

While I was making supper in a surprisingly Haven-free kitchen, Miss Hurricane evidently took it upon herself to feed the dog...from her snack bowl.

As I sit on the couch typing, Haven is busily lining out her baby dolls. They seem to be quite a discipline problem collectively, though they are also quite affectionate with each other and often kiss and hug. Haven just tattled on a doll that is really more of a figurine. "That girl won't give me her purse! Tell that girl to give me her purse...share," she insisted. Unfortunately, the fact that the purse is sewn to the doll's hands means nothing to Haven Esther. Just another challenge to conquer!

10 Things

2010-01-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

These are ten things that make me happy. Not the only things, mind you, just the top ten. When I sat down to think about this blog it occurred to me how many, many people in this life bring me joy. How much of God's creation I enjoy. I considered grouping some of this top ten together just to squeeze more in, but in the end abandoned that plan. So, drum roll, please, here they are: 10 Things.

1. God. I'm really not saying this to appear to be more spiritual,I'm afraid you all know me too well for that. Truly, He is the thing that makes me the most happy in this life. Without Him, I think I would love a little bit less, feel less deeply, see less vivedly. Without my Savior and my King, I would not know the hope and peace that infuse my life, making me capable of fully enjoying the other things it in. Knowing that I'm not good enough, that my righteousness is filthy rags is made a joyful thing in knowing that His righteousness He has given to me. I don't have to make it on my own merit. He paid my debt for me! What a release, what courage and joy that brings in facing this life with it's trials and pain. I live in amazement that He chose me. The knowledge that He loves me unconditionally makes my heart smile.

2. Jason. How happy it makes me to be married to my best friend! We enjoy each other's company so much. We love to hike, climb, kayak, snorkel, explore, try new things, go new places, talk, dream, and plan. Jason makes me laugh. He makes me feel beautiful. I can think of nobody else that I'd rather spend time with. I look forward to sharing the rest of my life with him and to the many adventures we'll share.

3. Hannah. My first baby. We bonded together over seemingly endless sleepless nights. She was such a challenge. Our precious little one who didn't like to sleep, eat, or play. She nearly sucked me dry, then, suddenly, she turned into a toddler who was loads of fun. She danced, sang, told stories, amazed us with her intelligence, loved to help around the house, and blamed "Beeda" for everything. Inspite of all of my incredibly inept parenting, Hannah has blossomed into a beautiful, confident, godly, talented woman. She amazes me. She dances like sunlight on water. She speaks three languages. She's smart, witty, sharp, independent. She loves to read, research, watch movies. Spending time with her and watching this process as she becomes the woman God created her to be brings me great joy.

4. Addy. The easy one. From day one, she seemed intent on making my life easier. Even labor was only 45 minutes with her! She slept through the night the day we brought her home from the hospital. Her easy-going nature didn't mean that she had any less personality, though. Addy is what we call a corker. As a baby, she crawled around with little dollies' heads in her mouth, climbed everything she could find, and was a mini houdini. She is still a person of contrasts. Addy is remarkebly easy going, but also extremely competetive. Addy's standardized testing will blow you out of the water, but she might not know what day of the week it is. She has a heart for the Lord, a sense of humor as sharp as a scalpel, a sense of mission, compassion. She's artistic and musical. She has the sound track to "The Phantom of the Opera" and "Flyleaf" on her mp3 player. She is an individual, deal with it. My Lulu is quirky and fun! I never know what she'll say next and I love the way she keeps me guessing. Just being in the same world with Addy makes me smile.

5. Haddon. My bubba-man. How did I get so blessed to have this little boy? After two girls, the sheer boyishness of him makes me so happy! Although we knew we were having a boy (thanks to the miracle of ultrasound technology), I will never forget the moment of panic I had the first time I held him in my arms. "I don't know how to hold a boy!" I thought. But, practically, other than the circumcision and the frequent fountainous diaper changes, newborn boys aren't any different than newborn girls. I'm not sure when that changed, but it did...and how! Boys make noises more than they make words. My son is wild, he's crazy, he's a lego maniac, he's all about star wars. He's a young, male, me. He's loud and rowdy. He loves babies and animals. He's all about science and nature. He loves a challenge and lives for meeting the goal. Haddon is happiness to me.

6. Avery. So sweet and so funny! When Avery does something, she does it BIG. As a toddler, she loved my "beans" which is actually arm pit stubble. She always had her hand in my pit. She would only eat macaroni and cheese (not the homemade kind, the kind from a box) and zonies (zone protein bars). She's loyal to a fault, but doesn't know a stranger. Avery has been best friends with Jakob since before she was born. Grown men willingly wrap themselves around her little finger. Avery loves coffee, puppies, soccer, books, glitter, glam, boys, drama, dancing, music, and the outside. She says, "nudist" instead of noticed, "commershical" instead of commercial, "Star Whores" instead of "Star Wars." She's been known to announce, "Ah, that's a good cup a joe!" Watching movies with her is the best because Avery has the best giggle in the entire world!

7. Haven. Hurricane Haven keeps me so busy, and so delighted. She is a walking disaster. If it can be broken, Haven will break it. If it's poisonous, she'll eat it. If it's high, she'll climb up it and then fall off of it. She has scared us to death since before she was born, but I can't imagine life without her. She makes me laugh every day. Haven is so busy. She loves to "fold" laundry and "put away" groceries. She enjoys undressing her babies and then pushing them in her stroller. Haven likes to tell us to "be patient," and "don't you tell me know," and "you stay right there," and "you stand up and hold me." Haven loves animals and strikes fear into the hearts of animals large enough to eat her in one bite. She is a sticky, sweet, noisy ball of perpetual motion. She is a living breathing miracle, one that shouldn't have made it to the ripe old age of two.

8. The written word. Reading is a mini vacation without the hassle of packing, travel, or the laws of the physical universe. Anything is possible in literature. It amazes me how mere words can transport me to magical places far or near. I love the smell and feel of pages, the weight of a book in my hand, the anticipation of taking up a story where I left off. I love getting my words down on paper (or on the computer). Making my imaginings into something solid, tangible. There is something magical about having the power to invite somebody else into my imagination. The written word makes me happy.

9. Nature. Our creative God has constructed a magnificent world to be explored. I love, love, love being outside exploring it. I love trees, mountains, oceans, deer, sand, snow, fish, wind, sun. I love being out in it and I want to see it all, touch it, and smell it.

10. Motion. I love doing. Walking, running, dancing, skiing, climbing, hiking, paddling, swimming, sliding, jumping. Moving makes me happy. Oddly, when I'm tired, moving gives me energy instead of stealing it. I am so at peace when I am DOING and GOING. Motion makes me happy.

Happiness. What makes you happy?

Happy Birthday to Me!

2010-01-15T21:39:00.000-08:00

I am a HUGE baby about my birthday. I love my birthday and want it celebrated to the nth degree every year. It's the one day each year that I don't feel guilty about being completely selfish. My wonderful husband knows this about me and not only does he put up with it, he feeds my birthday bliss compulsion. Every year he plans something more fun than the last. There was the year he arranged for some friends to take me out, then they delivered me back home after a wonderful supper to a surprise party complete with decorations! Another time he swept me away to a spa day in the city. I honestly don't know how he manages to come up with something every year. This year he put the icing on the cake (pun intended)!

On Tuesday, I left school an hour early so that Jason could whisk me off to OKC. We headed first to Rocktown, an indoor climbing facility housed in an old silo. Now, I have never been rock climbing (been boulder scrambling, but that's a whole different ball game) and though I was excited about trying, I was also worried about a few things. Let's face it, I'm not the most physically fit that I've ever been! Would I embarrass myself by not even making it off the ground? Would they even have climbing gear for chubs like me? If I fell, would my superior body weight yank my husband off the ground and catapult him to the top of the silo as he tried to belay me? Still, I'll try almost anything once, so I pulled up my big girl panties, pasted on a smile, and prepared to make the best of it. Guess what? The harness fit me, the staff did not measure, weigh, or laugh at me, and the other climbers did not gawk at my rather un-streamlined body. Jason and I geared up, then headed into the training room to take the required beginners' course. Morgan, our instructor, showed us the ropes (haha, I've got a million of 'em) and asked us which one of us wanted to belay first. My mind quickly calculated the options. I could climb first and risk humiliation by showcasing my incompetence...OR, I could belay first and watch Jason risk humiliation from the safety of the ground. Bingo! Option 2, belaying it was! Turns out belaying is tricky. Not difficult, mind you, just has more of a procedure than simply ascending a wall. There are a series of commands for the belayer and climber to use. The belayer has to learn how to clip the rope through their harness and through the floor cable, the proper way to take slack out of the line as the climber climbs, the "brake" hold, and how to operate the release apparatus on the belay device so that the climber will be lowered to the floor rather than dropped (sorry, honey, I couldn't remember which way was "slower" and which way was "faster"). Jason looked like a spider monkey as he scaled the wall easily, but I had to have four practices to get belaying down pat.
Then it was my turn. My nervousness had dissipated and sure enough, climbing proved to be easier than belaying. Jason practiced twice, then we were on our own. We had a great time and spent two hours trying all of the easier routes we could find. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I not only like rock climbing, I LOVE it!

Next Jason took me to the Warren theater in Moore. We sat in the balcony in cushy, recliner-like seats with seat warmers! We had a little table and a call button to summon our waitress. Yes, our WAITRESS...Jason and I just ordered popcorn and soda, but a full menu was available. We were presented with 3-D glasses. Not cardboard ones, but "real" glasses that we were to return after the show. We moved the armrest so we could snuggle and watched "Avatar" in 3-D. It was amazing.

After checking in to the Radisson, we walked a couple of blocks to Abuelos for a late supper before turning in. The next day was my actual b-day, so Jason let me sleep in. Then we went to the mall where he picked out my gift: a beautiful James Avery, 3 carat, garnet ring! A fabulous lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, quick stop at Hobby Lobby, visit to friends at Children's Hospital, and then we were headed home.

I can't WAIT to see what he comes up with next year!

Ghetto Fabulous Christmas

2009-12-07T20:22:00.000-08:00

OR "The Bigger They Are...The Harder They Fall" OR "Goliath" OR "When a Tree Falls in the Living room and There's Nobody There to Hear it, Does it Make a Sound?"

I could go on and on, but I won't. I woke this morning to the sight of our seven footer lying down on the job. How could such a thing have happened? It was standing tall and proud, shimmering with lights and ornaments of every size, shape, and color when I went to bed. The cat was out, the baby was safely tucked into bed...what could cause this behemoth to fall? Perhaps even more disturbing than that...how could I have not heard it fall? True, the base broke several years ago, but my man braced it with wood, bailing wire, and duct tape. He's the MacGyver of the quick fix. Could it be that his masterful tree rigging job was doomed to fail after four years of use? Inconceivable!

Hannah and I went on our way to the gym. I felt a little bit sad that the old tree bit the dust, but also a little bit happy about finally buying a new one. By the time we got back home an hour later, I was actually feeling excited about re-decorating a new tree, too. Of course, I entered the living room and found my crippled giant wavering in the light. Haddon was holding it as straight as he could. Jason was laying under it (no doubt hammering or screwing or taping something). Not concerned with pride or decorating in the least, my inventive husband has Goliath rigged upright. It's got a brick on the base and the top is anchored to the mini-blind cords. Another cord is tied around the top of the "trunk" and strung down to the brick. What could happen to a plan like that? It's fool proof!

Looks like the tree will make it for another couple of years, at least!

Chick-a-dee Magnet

2009-11-13T11:03:00.000-08:00

Some guys are chick magnets...my nephew, Cale, is a chick-a-dee magnet. Haven absolutely adores him! We pulled up behind Cale at the bank this morning and she went absolutely nuts. "See Cale, see Cale!" she begged over and over again, "I'na see Cale!" Finally I actually got her out of her carseat and took her to Cale's window. Of course, Haven suddenly had an attack of shyness when she saw that Cale had a friend in the truck with him. She wouldn't speak to him and kept coyly tucking her face into my neck.
Back in our van, we watched Cale pull away and as he drove off, Haven's litany increased in fervor and pitch. "I'na see Cale! I'na see Cale! Where Cale go? I'na kiss Cale! Cale kiss me. Cale kiss Mommy. Mommy kiss Cale. I'na kiss Cale. I'na kiss Cale!" This continued for the long, painful three minute drive to the house.
Wow, that's magnatism! The next time I see Cale he'll be taking his little cousin/girliefriend, Haven Esther, with him!

How Do You Do It?

2009-10-31T10:56:00.001-07:00

From the label of a bottle of Go-Go Mixed Berry (e+ribose) Vitamin Water: how could you possibly be reading this label right now? isn't there a meeting you should be in? a child you forgot to pick up? a gym you've been paying for? (fyi...there's a difference between "paying for" and "using.") we know, we know...you're busy. every day is a marathon. fortunately, (omitting section extolling the virtues of vitamin water) blah, blah, blah. now hurry to the soccer field, it's getting dark and your child's coach is starting to ask questions.

How did they know? Is it possible that it's not just me? I've always suspected that I was the only Mom with ninety-seven balls in the air (or, rather, ninety-seven balls that are SUPPOSED to be in the air but which seem to keep mysteriously dropping, unable to defy gravity on their own). As I type this, my oldest daughter is finishing the lunch I started cooking, there are two partially folded loads of laundry on the recliner, "Ice Age" is playing (but nobody is watching it), Avery is sitting next to me pantomiming me typing on my laptop (and she just commented, "This is what you do all day," gotta love that), smoke is billowing out of the oven from the plastic that is melted to the bottom and is burning off a little bit at a time, the sole boy is upstairs changing out of his soccer gear (leaving it on his bedroom floor), the dryer just alerted me that if I don't empty it the contents will be wrinkled beyond redemption. Today I still have to: fold the remaining laundry, put the hang-ups on hangers, put it all in closets and drawers, take Av to buy a present, take Av to the partay at the skating rink, clean out the pantry (because that's where I hid all of the clutter twenty minutes before Buttercup's birthday party), pick up Addy, put the zipper in Addy's "Alice in Wonderland" costume, pick Avery up from the partay, vacuum, address thank you notes, and, of course, keep my sweet little buttercup content. Your guess is as good as mine as to how much of this list will actually get accomplished!
Being a mom is just hard stuff. It's good, don't get me wrong, but it's hard. Being the mother of five sometimes seems impossible. But, I have a trick...more of a technique, really. So, how do I do it? Simple: I just don't do any of it very well.

Free Eating

2009-10-13T15:45:00.000-07:00

So, I came into the dining room this evening to find Haven sitting bare bottomed on the table. Reminds me of those "free eating" commercials!
I guess we'll be eating in the living room tonight...

Due to Popular Demand

2009-10-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

Here is the recipe for the "Starbuck's" Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins that I slopped all over the floor in my previous post:

Ingredients
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon ground cloves
4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 pinch cardamom (optional)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
4 eggs
2 cups sugar
2 cups pumpkin
1 1/4 cups vegetable oil
8 ounces cream cheese
chopped pumpkin seeds (optional) or walnuts (optional) or pecans (optional)

Directions
1 Preheat oven to 350.
2 Put the entire brick of cream cheese on a piece of wax paper or parchment paper and shape it into a long log.
3 Put it in the freezer while you mix and fill the pans, up to an hour.
4 Unwrap and cut with a sharp knife so each cream cheese disk equals 1-2 teaspoons. If the cream cheese disks are too big around, cut thick slices and then cut them in half. This lets you push it down into the batter easier.
5 Mix all ingredients together (except cream cheese and nuts).
6 Fill muffin tins (greased or paper cups) half full.
7 Put cream cheese disc in the middle, pressing down.
8 Sprinkle with 1 tsp chopped nuts.
9 Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean from the muffin part (do not touch the cream cheese!).
10 Let cool in pans for 5 minutes, then remove to racks to cool completely. Do not touch the cream cheese until it cools.

Tips:
*For a lowfat alternative, substitute applesauce for the oil and use low fat cream cheese instead of the full fat version
*Keep bowl away from the edge of the counter (see previous post)

The Pumpkin Muffins that Weren't

2009-10-09T13:29:00.000-07:00

We're having a women's ministry meeting tonight. In order to contribute...and show off...I was baking 4 dozen delicious muffins to take. Unfortunately, after spending $25 on ingredients and putting said ingredients in mixing bowl, I then knocked afore mentioned bowl off of kitchen counter and in doing so, splattered the wanna-be muffins all over my kitchen floor.
I called my husband to cry on his shoulder. His response? "Do I need to go get you some more muffin mix?" Totally missing the point. (Deep sigh.) I don't think I have it in me to start over.

Paradise Found

2009-09-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

Dry Tortugas National Park lies 70 miles west of Key West, Florida. The park consists of several TINY islands (or, keys) so named because Ponce De Leon, the spanish explorer who discovered them, saw an abundance of sea turtles (tortugas, en espanol). Later the "dry" was added to indicate that none of the Tortugas had sources of fresh water. Fort Jefferson was built as a naval base in the mid 1800's. It's purpose was two fold: to discourage piracy and hostile forces, and to prevent hostile forces from occupying this important piece of land thereby controlling gulf shipping channels. The fort was never completed, though it was used. Its construction was halted when the weight of its 16 million plus bricks began to sink.
Visitors to the park can tour the fort and investigate all of its nooks and crannies (except for those occupied by the park rangers who live there 30 days on, 4 days off). The fort covers most of the little island, but there is a strip of pristine beach which is ideal for lounging on. Just off the beach, visitors can snorkel along the moat wall. Jason and I experienced some of the most vibrant and varied marine life we've ever seen snorkeling there.
Only accessable by sea plane, ferry, or catamaran, the Dry Tortugas and Fort Jefferson are a spectacular day trip. We went by catamaran and the trip was 2 1/2 hours each way. The islands are still dry, but if we ever go again, Jason and I will camp there so we can spend two full days investigating the history and ecology of this American treasure.

Rain, Rain Go Away...

2009-09-13T19:39:00.000-07:00

Our first day in Key West started out WAY too early even though we slept until almost nine. Jason hit the shower first while I languished in bed under the guise that I was going to try to find the weather channel. After only a few minutes in the shower, Jason hollered for me. "See if you can figure out how to get this water hot," he said. I, naturally, assumed this was a ploy designed to eventually get me into the shower with him, but when I stuck my hand under the spray I found that it was actually quite cold. Jason had the handle cranked all the way to the "hot" side. I thought maybe the handle was reversed, but when I twisted it toward the "cold" side, it actually got colder. I was filled with righteous indignation as I took my barely luke warm shower. I griped and railed as I shivered. When I fiddled with the knob again to turn off the shower, I discovered that the cold water was caused by a scald guard. I twisted it just a bit further toward the "cold" side and was rewarded with blissfully hot water!
We met David and Paula and drove through the blinding rain to IHOP where we stuffed ourselves for brunch. It was still pouring when we left the restaurant, so we cruised around a little (and laughed at the tourists who had foolishly rented bikes or mopeds for the day...fools!), shopped (Dave bought swim trunks, Paula & I bought shoes), visited the southern most point in the continental United States (snapped some photos), walked on the beach (and took a long walk on an equally long pier), and prayed for the rain to stop. Finally, the rain eased to a mere sprinkle. We decided to go on a sunset snorkel cruise. We bought our tickets and by the time we had boarded the catamaran, the rain had completely stopped.
Although it was still cloudy, the boat ride to the coral reef was beautiful and relaxing. The snorkeling at our first stop was good and we saw lots of tropical fish and a few jellyfish as well. After about an hour of snorkeling, we boarded the boat and cruised to a second location. The snorkeling at the second site wasn't quite as good, but we were just all glad to be doing something vacation-y. As we motored back in to Key West, we got to watch a beautiful sunset.
We were all ravenous by the time we got ashore. Our last meal had been at ten in the morning and it was now 7:30 p.m. We decided to go to dinner as we were (damp, disheveled, and smelly...well, Dave was smelly) and headed over to Outback. Bellies full, we set the plan for the following day and turned in.

Getting There

2009-09-10T10:17:00.001-07:00

After days (as opposed to weeks, months, or even years) of careful planning, Jason and I joined David & Paula on a couples get-away to the Florida Keys. At seven o'clock Friday morning, we pulled our luggage out to the driveway and sat in our camp chairs until the Biffles pulled up. We chucked the luggage in the back of the truck, then we were off! We made great time to Tulsa and were all settled in on our first flight before we knew it. We had a three hour layover in Dallas which was going to put us into Miami later than we had hoped to be there, but all of our flights were great. The "fun" began in Miami airport.
If you've never been in Miami International, count your blessings. Not only is MIA huge and crowded, but it is also filthy and an completely un-user friendly. In order to get to baggage claim, we walked approximately two miles, then stood for twenty minutes or so waiting for our bags to arrive via carousel. Thankfully they were there! Of course, our "on site" rental car agency wasn't actually at the airport, so we stood outside with our bags and waited and waited and waited for the Thrifty shuttle to collect us. Meanwhile, four (count them, FOUR) Enterprise shuttles, Two Hertz shuttles, and Two Budget Shuttles passed by before our ship came in. We loaded in and prayed all the way to the rental car agency as our driver ignored both traffic laws and common sense during the ten minute drive.
I don't know why this is, but renting a car is never painless. It is a ridiculously laborious process, even when everything goes smoothly. Which, in our case, it did not. The three seats located inside the shop were filthy and occupied, so we stood as Jason stood in the long and impossibly slow moving line. By the time he reached the counter I had actually secured one of the disgusting chairs and had plopped my exhausted self in it. He seemed to be haggling at the counter even longer than one usually does when renting a car, so I moseyed on up to check on his progress. I arrived at the counter just in time to hear the sale's person tell Jason that the only car she had available was going to run $62 a day. Knowing that our reservation was for a car that would cost $22 a day, I butted in. Apparently, they couldn't find our reservation. I insisted that we had a reservation and a confirmation number. Regardless, she kicked us out of line. I called Hannah and had her open my email in search of the confirmation. She found it...with Enterprise. Enterprise! Enterprise which we could no longer get to. Crap! We called the reservation desk and secured a reservation for a car (that would run between $22/day and $62/day, but beggars can't be choosers and all that). Then, Jason spent another 30 minutes in line. We finally pulled out of Thrifty in our Journey near 10:30 p.m. We still had a three hour drive ahead of us.
We arrived in Key West at just after two a.m. and checked our bleary eyed selves into the surprisingly nice hotel. We decided to sleep in the next morning and parted ways. Jason and I tromped up to our room, slid the key into the slot and...nothing. If at first you don't succeed...slid the key into the slot and...nothing. J wearily hiked back down to the front desk and the night manager re-coded the keys. He returned ten minutes later, slid the key into the slot and...nothing. You've got to be kidding me! He crawled back downstairs and returned (after another ten minutes) with the night manager who unlocked our door with his master key. He explained that the lock must be low on batteries and assured us that they would be replaced in the morning. We were in! We slung ourselves onto the bed and remained unconscious until our alarms rudely woke us up at nine. We were still tired, it was pouring rain, but we were in Key West!

Peddling Backward

2009-08-29T16:13:00.000-07:00

Today I:
*vacuumed the living room
*washed the recliner
*went to the post office
*took the kids to the library
*made lunch
*washed, folded, & put away 3 loads of laundry
*put haven down for a nap
*swept & mopped the dining room and vacuumed the dining room floor
*sewed a baby sling & helped Hannah sew a kiddie apron
*vacuumed the living room
*went to the grocery store
*made supper
*scrubbed the bathtub
*gave Haven and Avery a bath
*took a walk
*loaded the dishwasher
*read "Princess Bride" to the kids
*picked up Avery's room, hung up her towel, & put her dirty clothes into the hamper

Today Haven:
*ate a poptart on the recliner, smearing at least half of it on the chair
*dumped her bowl of fish crackers on the living room floor & used her feet to grind them into the carpet
*pitched a fit while I tried to dress her
*completely emptied a two foot section of library shelf onto the library floor
*pitched a fit when I carried her out of the library
*ripped her bib off while eating lunch...and apparently poured salsa down her front
*pitched a fit while I tried to wash her hands and face
*unloaded one of Avery's drawers onto Avery's floor
*took a nap
*climbed up on a chair and dumped a tin of pins onto the floor
*walked through my dust piles as I swept
*pitched a fit as Hannah carried her down to the basement so I could mop
*cried that she was scared of the vacuum
*pitched a fit as Addy carried her down to the basement so I could vaccuum
*tore open a pouch of dish soap and sprinkled it on the kitchen floor
*begged for chips for snack
*crushed a small bowl of chips and sprinkled them over the couch and floor
*threw as many dvd's on the floor as she could while I vacuumed
*repeatedly started the dishwasher by pushing the correct sequence of buttons
*hung on my leg and begged for "meat, meat, meat!" while I cooked supper
*pitched a fit in her highchair and refused to eat anything
*tried repeatedly to climb into the bathtub as I was cleaning it
*enjoyed her bath for about two and a half minutes, then screamed while I washed her hair, dried her, and dressed her
*rode in the stroller
*pitched a fit when I took her back inside
*said "Mom" approximately nine hundred and forty-two times as I read "Princess Bride"
*took her meds like a champion, but still managed to dribble some onto her previously clean leg
*went to bed just before nine
*woke up just before eleven
*said "Mom" about fifteen times until her daddy picked her up
*went to bed again

I don't know why I feel like I never get anything done!

Monsoonami OR Mon-tsunami, I Can't Decide

2009-07-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

We loved the KOA at Carlsbad! The staff was super friendly and helpful and the grounds and buildings were some of the cleanest and best organized that I've ever seen. Still, there were some definite downsides to staying there, at least in July. For one thing, it was approximately 900 degrees outside and we were sleeping in a tent. We aren't stupid, we knew July in the flatlands of New Mexico was going to be hot, but we wanted to stay within a short distance of the caverns, so we were willing to put up with it for two nights. However, neither one of us was prepared for the FLIES! I have never, in my life, seen so many flies. It was like a biblical plague. Jason asked one of the KOA employees if there were always so many flies and she commented that it was the season for them and that if we'd come earlier in the summer we'd have seen tarantulas everywhere. I wonder why they don't advertise these things on their website? We also discovered after our first night's stay that July and August are "monsoon" season.
It might surprise you that the arid climate of New Mexico has a monsoon season...I know it surprised me! Monday night as the kids were swimming I kept a watchful eye on the huge banks of clouds that seemed to be approaching on all sides. We'd only been at the pool a short time when lightening chased us back to dry land. The weather held until we went to bed, then we got a good downpour. Our new tent kept us dry, though, and by five a.m. the temperature dropped into the seventies. We spent the entire day Tuesday at the caverns where the temperature hold steady at 56 degrees, but returned to the KOA that evening to scortching heat and the horde of flies.
Once again, Tuesday evening, threatening storm clouds surrounded us. The heat in the tent was oppressive. Haddon thrashed around wildly and we finally dragged his bag outside and let him sleep out there for a while until Jason spotted lightening, then we brought him back in. Not long after getting him settled on his air mattress again, the wind began to pick up. Then it began to lightening, thunder, and rain in earnest. Jason and I got up and battened down the hatches, so to speak, zipping up all of the windows that the wind was now blowing rain through. The storm didn't let up, though, battering the tent for over an hour before decided that something was going to give and we didn't want to be outside when it did. So, we moved all of the the three youngest kids into the van where the big girls were already sleeping. It wasn't until I was carrying Haven (all snuggled up in a blanket to keep her dry)the 20 feet or so to the safety of the van, that I realized just how bad the storm was. The wind was just vicious, blowing the rain into pellets that seemed to be flying every direction at once. I ended up having to hold on to Avery, as well, because she couldn't see with the wind and the rain. It was so windy that I had a hard time getting the van door open, but once I pushed the kids inside, I ran back to the tent to help J. After a few moments of deliberation, we decided that we'd better get as much as we could in the van because if the rain fly came loose as it was threatening to do, all of our clothing, bags, etc. would be soaking wet. I took two trips from the tent to the van hauling various bags, then Avery started crying because she was scared, so I stayed in with the kids while Jason single-handedly emptied the tent. He stayed with it for a while, standing inside and holding on to the top to try to keep it from blowing away.
From the van, the tent looked like a living thing as it bucked and pitched, tipping this way and that before righting itself again. Then the rain fly pitched violently and pulled the stakes from the soggy ground. With no protection from the wind and rain, Jason gave up his efforts and ran for the van. No sooner had he shut the door then the tent caved in. We spent a cozy night in the van, crammed in like sardines, but dry and safe and thankful that we had a van to get into.
The next morning we did a damage assessment and were pleased to find that, although it was filled with water and looked like a tidal wave had hit it, the tent was actually not damaged in any way. It took a little longer to pack up than usual since we had to dry everything, but we were loaded up by noon and heading to the next destination on our trip.

Spelunking

2009-07-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

Day number one of our family vacation was spent driving, setting up camp, swimming, and chasing bunnies. Day number two we spent at Carlsbad Caverns exploring the underworld. At the visitor's center we learned that there are two ways to get down into the caverns. The weanie way is to take an elevator straight down into the middle of the caverns where there are restrooms and even a small snack bar (which has been woefully mis-named the "Lunch Cafe'" even though it doesn't actually offer LUNCH). The Dirks way is to hike a half mile to the natural entrance, then hike 1.4 miles (about an hour and a half)into the interior of the cave where the main tours start. Never mind that there are no restrooms between the visitor's center and the center of the caves, we're tough. We loaded Haven into her kelty, strapped on our sensible shoes, equipped ourselves with water and peanut butter crackers, checked the batteries on our cameras, and set off for an underground adventure.
Even though we had seen photos of the entrance, we were all amazed at how HUGE the natural entrance is. As soon as we approached the giant hole in the earth, we heard and saw hundreds, if not thousands, of tiny birds. Turns out Carlsbad Caverns is home to the largest colony of cave swallows in the world! The temperature outside of the cave was a sweltering 90+ degrees, but inside the cave the temp holds at a steady 56 degrees, so we donned jackets shortly after exiting the sunlight. The caves are very dimly lit, especially toward the entrance, which keep the swallows and other creatures from going very far into the cave. Once my eyes adjusted, I was amazed at the sheer size of the cave. Hard to imagine something so enormous existing under your feet. As we hiked through the natural entrance route, we descended 750 feet underground. Other than a little bit of green algae growing on boulders near the entrance, there was no vegetation to be seen. Speleothems of every conceivable shape and size decorate the caverns. In order to remember which is which, we learned a couple of easy sayings: "stalactites hold 'tight' to the ceiling" and "you 'might' trip over a stalagmite." The variety was amazing, like God set out to decorate that cave just to wow visitors. Some of the formations look bubbly, like popcorn. Some of them are almost slimy in appearance, as if made of material that oozes instead of rock. Some of them (called "curtains") look like fabric. Some of them are jagged like crystals. One of my favorite features were the underground pools. The water is so clear that sometimes I wasn't sure it was actually there. Flash photography reveals a beautiful green tint to the water that actually comes from the rock beneath it.
The massive size, hush, lack of plant and animal life, and the strange "rock" formations lend themselves to an outer space feel.
When we reached the lunch room, we had a snack, a rest, and a potty break, then we set out to explore the big room. It was hard for me to imagine anything on a grander scale than what we'd already seen descending into the cavern, but the big room was definitely big. By the time we'd hiked the whole "Big Room" route, we had hiked for over four hours. Haven was asleep in the kelty, but Avery was pooped out! We opted to take the elevator up instead of hiking it (yes, we weanied out). After hours of hiking vigorously, we'd seen just over half of the cave! It was an amazing visit, something we all agreed we'd definitely do again, but next time (if the kids are old enough), we want to don helmets and do our own cave exploration. spelunking

Know When to Say When

2009-07-14T06:35:00.000-07:00

It is vitally important that every person know their limit. Obviously I met mine with 4 kiddos because this 5th one is just running wild! Haven rules this roost...and not benevolently. Last night at supper, she kept pointing insistantly to my plate and saying, "Food, food." Never mind that everything on my plate was already in bite sized pieces on her high chair tray, she wanted my plate. I was already exasperated by trying to prepare dinner while meeting her demands, so in frustration I, literally, tossed my plate onto her tray. "Thank you!" she said with a distinct air of delight and victory. After we prayed I went into the kitchen and prepared myself another plate which Haven then spent several minutes pointing at whilst whining, "Food, food!" Finally she realized that I was not going to give her this one, so she began unloading her tray, insisting on handing me everything off of it. Gross.
In order to fold some laundry this morning after breakfast, I sat Haven down with a coloring book (coloring is her new hobby). When I went back in to check on her after a few minutes, there she was, sitting at the dining room table, coloring it. The crayon wiped right off, but it's the prinicpal of the thing. This kid is giving me a run for my money! I know the Lord says He will not test us beyond what we can bear...has He MET Haven Esther?

Zoology

2009-07-13T13:38:00.000-07:00

After Haven's pointless appointment in OKC, we took the whole fam to the zoo! Haven is just the right age for her first zoo trip, she LOVED it. She had so much fun riding the merry-go-round, making the appropriate animal noises at the animals, and soaking in all of the new ones she wasn't familiar with. The day was hot, but we drank lots of water and ignored the hundred degree temp.
OKC zoo has a climbing tower now and Haddon could not wait to tackle it. He geared up and started off like a monkey. Just over halfway up, Haddon started to come down. We were all cheering him on, but he called down, "my hands are burning!" "Keep going, keep going," we all shouted, but he came on down. When he came down and held out his hands to me I saw that they really were burning. The heat from the handholds had burned his hands to blistering!
We saw the lion cubs (who are half grown, really) up close. The elephants are on a trip to Tulsa (trying for baby elephants, actually), but the bears and apes were showing out in high style. We saw it all and didn't leave until closing time, then everyone but J sacked out on the way home.

There Was a Little Girl...

2009-07-12T19:39:00.000-07:00

Her name was Haven Esther.

Who had a little curl...
It was white blond, fine as a spider's web, and as unruly as a lynch mob. Haven Esther loved to feel her hair, especially when her hands were greasy or sticky or covered in food. And she absolutely refused to leave a bow in it. As soon as her momma would comb those wild, beautiful locks, she would pull the bow out and hand it back to her momma, saying, "Bow, hair?" So, her momma would put the bow back in Haven Esther's hair, but no sooner than she had it in, the little cherub would pull it out and hand it back to her momma, saying, "Bow, hair?" So her momma eventually stopped trying to tame her tresses and even hid all the bows so that Haven Esther wouldn't find them and ask to have them in her hair.

Right in the middle of her forehead...
Haven Esther's hair was like spun silk, curly spun silk in the back and on the sides. The more humid it became, the more tightly her hair curled. Sometimes it curled into several corkscrew ringlets. Sometimes it seems to bunch together into one ringlet, at least until she slept, or rode in a car seat, or rubbed her dirty hands through it. On rainy days or just after a bath, the little girl often had one wayward corkscrew dangling between her eyes.

When she was good...
The little girl loved to sing and she loved to dance. Music moved her, as if she could not help but move when anything with a beat played. She loved animals, especially dogs and cows. Playgrounds were her favorite places. She talked up a blue streak, especially when she learned a new word. Haven Esther loved to learn new words and use them. She would repeat them over and over and over again, testing out new ways to use them. She was a very smart little girl.
When her daddy was in the bathroom, Haven Esther would shout, "Good girl, Daddy!" from the bottom of the stairs. She would shout "Good girl, Daddy!" all the way up the stairs until she finally reached him and could pat his leg saying again, "Good girl, Daddy! Good girl!"

She was very, very good...
Haven Esther was sick a lot, but her doctors and nurses were always amazed at how good she was. She laid still and quiet for many needle sticks and lab draws, even smiling and chatting with the nurses sometimes. She was so good at getting x-rays that she covered her own lap with the little lead apron.
Before she was even two years old, Haven Esther knew lots of her colors, peed and pooped in the potty with surprising frequency, and knew how to sort silverware. At night, she dived into her crib and laid down without a peep. She could climb ANYTHING and did.
Haven Esther's momma and daddy enjoyed her very much. They loved to see her learn and grow. They smiled at her funny faces and fun antics. Her brothers and sisters sometimes argued about who got to take care of her. Even her church family doted on her even though she wasn't very often friendly to them.

But when she was bad,
Sweet Haven Esther wanted what she wanted when she wanted it. And she didn't sleep well most of the time. She liked to be held and carried. She liked to be held and carried pretty much all of the time. She was a picky eater. She really, REALLY liked getting her own way.

She was horrid!
Sometimes little Haven Esther slept so little that her poor parents could hardly function the next day. Then, she would press herself up against the shower door when her momma was showering and bawl, "Momma, Momma shower?" until she was hoarse. When her momma got out of the shower, Haven Esther would cling to her momma's wet legs which makes drying off quite difficult as you can imagine. When Momma would put on her make up where do you think little Haven Esther was? That's right, hanging on Momma's leg crying, "Momma, Momma." Just to be difficult, Haven Esther would fall asleep at inopportune times (like lunch) and then only sleep for a short period of time before waking up again. Then, because the little girl, herself, was tired and cranky from not sleeping, she would spend all day just not being happy. In fact, the only thing that seemed to make her happy on days such as these was making her Momma miserable.
There were days that Haven Esther's momma was so tired and so grumpy and so stressed that she couldn't remember the times that her little girl was precious. On those days she was too worn out to remember her little girl's golden corkscrew curls or funny dancing or the way she told her daddy that he was a "good girl." On those days she sometimes went to church with her hair uncombed and makeup on only one eye and with mismatched shoes and when her friends patted her and asked her how she was she could only cry. On those days, she sometimes had a hard time remembering how much she really loved the little girl and then that would make Momma feel guilty and then she would cry some more.
But, once she had had a good cry and a nap, Haven Esther's momma remembered once more how much she loved her little girl with a curl right in the middle of her forehead.

Outback Extra Stress

2009-06-30T11:12:00.001-07:00

Yes, we're having VBS this week, something I used to look forward to, but not so much this year...come to think of it not so much last year, either. Chalk it up to a bad attitude or sheer laziness, but I just HATE adding something else to my life, even for a week. I'm on over-load without adding a 2-3 hour nightly event.
Evening VBS poses some interesting challenges for families. We arrive at the church at about 5:30, start at 6:00, and usually get home between 8:45 and 9:00. When is supper during that schedule? A frosting slathered graham cracker artfully decorated with chocolate chips is fun and yummy, but does not cut the mustard (so to speak) in the meal department. And the last thing I want to do at 9:00 at night after teaching a hundred or so kids is to prepare supper. So, the plan of the week is to have our big meal of the day at lunch time and to eat a small meal at ten til five or so before we head to the church. But, the kids still need some "unwind time" before hitting the sack when we get home, so even though bed time is officially 8:30 for Haven and 9:00 for Haddon and Avery, nobody is getting to bed before 9:30 at the earliest. By the end of the week everyone is exhausted (okay, I'm already exhausted and it's only Tuesday).
This year's theme is "Outback Express." We are focusing on Australia. I am in the missions room which is my favorite VBS post. Instead of being in charge of my own little group of kiddos, I get to teach the lot of them. I get to prep the kids for a little video, then explain to them what they just watched, ask questions, and pass out candy to the kids who knew the correct answers. For the most part it's really fun. The challenging thing about it is that by the end of each night I've repeated the same things five times, adjusting slightly for age differences. We experienced a first in VBS last night, though. Less than an hour into it, a transformer (or something like that) "blew" outside of the church and WE HAD NO POWER. Translation: no lights, no air-conditioning, no video. Yipes! Everyone had to do quite a bit of thinking on their feet as we made adjustments to accommodate our situation. I got to show my missions video only to my first group. After that I was on my own. The kids were surprisingly gracious and attentive as I tried to describe to group after group what they would have seen in the video had the power not been out. Whew! By the last bunch I was a dithering idiot, but all children had been successfully placated by candy and educated on Australia's need for missionaries. The kids saw our power outage as an adventure as opposed to a challenge, and may actually be disappointed that the electricity is now back on (Thank you, Jesus!). I, however, am seriously relieved...I love video!

Sixteen Candles

2009-06-28T20:51:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, Hannah turned 16. Usually we don't get to celebrate her birthday as a family. In fact, since the year she turned 12, Hannah has spent her birthday at Falls Creek. This year, however, our group happened to be coming home from camp on her birthday.
Hannah and I celebrated her birthday in style a week and a half ago when I took her to OKC for a spa day and shopping. That trip is a whole blog in and of itself. But last night we had a family celebration. Before leaving for camp, I had Hannah choose a menu for her birthday dinner and only hours after coming home from Creek Week, she was sitting down to manicotti, Cesar salad, and garlic bread. Afterward we had pineapple upside down cake (her favorite) and she opened cards and gifts. The highlight of the evening was when she couldn't get her Kamik box open...I laughed so hard I had tears rolling down my cheeks and snapped picture after picture while she insulted me in French (ahhh, the wonders of an honors education).
It doesn't seem possible that my Hannah is 16. Can it possibly be that long ago that we were meeting her for the first time, transfixed by her beauty? I remember the amazement that filled me...this child was her own person, someone completely separate from me, but entrusted to me by God. What was He thinking? I used to cry as I imagined all of the ways that I must be "ruining" her. What an awesome responsibility parenting is, but what a joy! We have come so far from the day she was born, but some things remain the same. The day we brought her home from the hospital, Jason drove 15 miles an hour the whole way while I cried in the backseat next to our very new baby girl. I kept thinking, "I can't believe they just let us take her home...what are they thinking? We don't know anything about babies!" Sixteen years later, I'm still crying and frightened as I sit in the car next to my daughter....but it's because she's driving.

Long Time, No Blog

2009-06-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

Checking in, finally, after a long absence from blogging. It's not that I don't have any TIME to blog or that I don't have anything to BLOG about, it's just that there are so many OTHER things that need to be done or that I want to do that blogging has taken a back seat (as has cleaning out the van, folding laundry, etc.). As I am sitting on my couch, trying to type out a semi-coherent paragraph or two, Haven Esther is leaning her forehead against my left elbow and munching on cheese crackers that are in a bowl on my knee. Drool mixed with crumbs rains down on my foot. Yummy. She is so sleepy after her barely there half hour nap that she can't even hold her head up though she insists she wants a snack.
Life is so full and so hectic and so fun and so difficult some days. It seems all I can do is survive it. But, I really, really don't want to just survive. I want to make the most of these days, even the difficult ones. I want to savor them, all too soon they will be gone. One day I will look around and there will be no crises to avert, no popsicle stains on my shorts, no crying babies to be held. One day this house will be quiet and still and clean and I don't want to look back and think, "where did the time go?" I want to use these days to teach my children about God and love and family and strength and kindness and self-control, but most days I'm just too tired, too distracted, too confused about what is urgent and what is important. Striving and thriving seems out of the realm of possibility. (Now Haven is crying because I won't kiss my own cheek! Obviously she needs to lay back down.) Most days I'm ashamed to admit (though I don't think this will come as a surprise to any of you) that I am simply not in a position to teach my children about these things because I am not acting loving or kind or godly. I'm weak and fearful and disorganized and angry. How can I teach my children about things that I don't demonstrate? I want to enjoy this time with my family. I want to play board games and go swimming and garden together and read with them and take them places. But the laundry is taking over my living room and I cannot even find my dining room table under the scrap booking materials.
Still, I'm trying. Or maybe I'm trying to try...At any rate, blogging has been on the back burner, my van is dirty, and if this tower of unfolded, clean laundry falls over somebody may be hurt. But, we will bake a cake together today and read some out of "The Princess Bride." When Haven's mouth hurts I will hold her while the popsicle drool coats us both. And when I look at the leaning tower of laundry, I will not regret the time I have spent today not folding it.
Excuse me while I hold Haven for a bit and sing to her before I lay her back down.

Kittens

2009-05-31T19:48:00.000-07:00

Our kitty, Flo, is having kittens. This came as somewhat of a shock to us since we thought she was spayed. About a month and a half ago, several male cats started hanging about doing their strange, bawling mating call. A bit slow on the uptake, I didn't stop to wonder WHY these alley cats were doing their love-sick routine at my house until about four days into it. Suddenly it occurred to me that the only reason these males would be looking at my house for a mate would be that there was one here for them! I instructed Addy to keep Flo in the house for a few days and then it became painfully obvious that she was, in fact, in heat. She sat in the window and mournfully howled to her boyfriends outside, but I was staunch...she was NOT, under any circumstances barring house fire, to be let out. After a few days, Flo returned to her normal placid self and I forgot all about her many suitors and her love lorn moping. Until, that is, I picked her up a couple of weeks ago and felt teats. TEATS! I didn't recall ever having noticed Flo's teats before and, since I've experienced pregnancy myself a few times, I wondered if that could be a sign that she was pregnant. I got onto the computer and did some checking. Apparently, there are a few signs that your cat may be pregnant. Among them are:

-pinking, this is the phenomenon of the cat's nipples becoming pink and more pronounced

-the cat (or "Queen" as many articles refer to a pregnant cat) will usually become markedly more affectionate as well as less active

-obviously, the cat will eventually look pregnant, becoming quite round in the abdomen

-and if you are weird enough to try it, a pregnant cat will lay on her side and be still if you stimulate her nipples (I am not making this up...it was mentioned in 4 out of the 5 articles I read)

Wanting to be a good pet owner, I checked Flo's nipples for "pinking." Sure enough, her teats were pink, but then again, it's not like I'd ever actually SEEN Flo's nipples before. She did look a bit heavier than usual and was laying around a lot, but cats tend to lay around quite a bit as it is, so I didn't think that was a definitive sign. Not desperate enough to try stimulating my cat's nipples, I decided to wait and see. Well, last week as Flo was laying lazily on the couch, I noticed her belly jumping around of its own accord. Either Flo is pregnant or she's re-enacting that scene from "Alien...."

At lunch today we got on the topic of kittens and hence the virtues of spaying or neutering pets. Now, this may not strike you as inappropriate lunch conversation, but then Winnie dropped a bomb right there in Subway. Once she neutered her male Siamese...herself. We were having a good chuckle when I asked the question on everyone's minds, "How? Did you just snip them off?" The answer was no. The truth was much worse. In actuality, she used rubber bands. RUBBER BANDS to neuter her cat. "Eventually they shrivelled up and dropped off," she explained (as if the end result needed any explanation). By now the laughter was uproarious. I poked Jason, "I guess you don't have to go see Dr. Jia!" Laughing so hard my stomach hurt, I continued, "You can just go down to Winnie's for the rubber band treatment." As Jason was not so politely declining, Winnie piped in, "That'd take really big rubber bands!" Does anyone else wonder how, exactly, Winnie would know?

This Old Nut Finally Cracked

2009-05-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

After church Wednesday nights, I'm just ready to crash. I teach third grade in our TeamKid program and usually have between 23 and 26 in my class. I like the teaching, but the kids can get pretty unruly, so by the time I get home I just want to tuck the kiddos in and have some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, Jason gets home about an hour after I do on Wednesday nights, so I have to get all three of the younger kids ready for bed...which isn't a big deal except that I'm already stressed out and pushed to my limits.
Tonight was even worse than usual. We had our classroom awards. I wanted to give each child in the class an award (which is not an easy task unless your a large number of your awards are unkind, like: "Worst Body Odor" or "Most Consecutive Days in the Same Clothes"), so I came up with six different silly awards and let the kids nominate each other for them. It was utter chaos. The kids had a great time...I felt like I needed a straight jacket. During the most insane part of class, Hannah called needing a ride home from dance. Then, only a few minutes later, Addy called wondering if she should get a ride to church or if I was coming to get her. Gah! As soon as class was over I loaded everyone up and collected Hannah, then we headed for home sweet home.
I had everyone almost all ready for bed and was filling Haven's cool mist humidifier when it happened. As soon as I turned off the water, I heard loud, rushing water. I thought it was Haddon who was brushing his teeth and hollered for him to turn the water down, but didn't get a response and the water was still running very hard. So, I went in to rebuke him. I was passing my bathroom when I saw a geyser erupting from my toilet! Water was spraying 4-5 feet in the air. You've got it...that was the source of the sound of rushing water. As soon as it registered what was happening, I also noticed that the water was coursing through the bathroom and had almost reached the door. Of course, at that moment Haven decided that she should come in and investigate. I yelled for Hannah to call Dad and I yelled for Addy to get off the phone and get the baby. Then I held my breath, shielded my eyes and went for the shut off valve behind the stool. It didn't budge, at first, but in my fury I had near super-human strength and the valve couldn't withstand my power. Finally, I got it shut off, though it continued to leak it was manageable. My small triumph was short lived when I remembered all of the water on the floor of my second story bathroom. By now, the water had escaped the bathroom, soaking several feet of carpet in the bedroom and even running out into the hall. I yelled to Addy, "Get me that thing, Dad's big thing in the garage." Miraculously, Addy ran up the stairs a few seconds later with the shop-vac. (Poor kids, they're so used to me not being able to find the right words that they actually understand me now.)
Jason walked in as I was sucking up water from the bathroom floor and telling Hannah to try him on his cell again. He called Jeff (of Jeff's Plumbing) who came right over. He took one look under the toilet and said, "This old nut cracked."
Bet you thought the title was about me, didn't you?

Swine Flu-Ish

2009-05-04T21:02:00.000-07:00

So, since my chances for the mother of the year award were dashed somewhere around January 2nd, I thought I'd further impress and entertain you with my complete lack of parenting competence! I'll begin at the beginning. My son has asthma. He got his first inhaler (with a tiny face mask) when he was 5 months old. I will never forget sitting in the Walmart pharmacy crying when the pharmacist handed it to me. He had moderate to severe asthma until he was about kindergarten age and was on 3-8 medications at all times for his asthma, then he quite quickly seemed to outgrow it. Now he is nine years old and has asthma attacks so seldom that I daily leave the house without even a thought of taking his inhaler with me. We keep an inhaler at school, just in case, and he has to use it once a month or so after running in P.E. Other than that, as long as he is well, we never use his inhaler.
Saturday night, he was a little bit congested when he went to bed and though he coughed just a bit in the night, it wasn't even enough to warrant cough syrup. Of course, by the time he woke up Sunday morning it was a different story all together! He was really working to breathe even when he was just sitting on the couch. After he got all ready for church, I gave him a breathing treatment, then we headed to the early service. Here's where my parenting skills (or lack thereof) become painfully obvious. Just as the sermon was beginning, Haddon laid down in the pew, then asked me if he could go home. I could tell he felt really bad. I took him home. He said his throat hurt and his chest hurt. I asked him if his chest hurt when he coughed or when he breathed and he said "both." He was running a little temp, so I dosed him up with ibuprofen and mucinex and fixed him up on the couch with a movie, blanket, and the phone. THEN I WENT BACK TO CHURCH. I didn't want to miss Sunday School, you see. It all made perfect sense at the time, leaving my ill, asthmatic child at home by himself for an hour while he was having difficulty breathing. In my defense, I did call him every 20 minutes to check on him and he said he was fine each time.
The other kids and I came home after Sunday School and hung out there until second service was over, then we all went back to the church to pick up dad for lunch. Haddon didn't feel like eating, but did want a pop, so we got him some Sprite. But, just after we sat down and prayed, he laid down on his table (we're a two table sized family at any fast food place). I rebuked him because I was concerned both about the cleanliness of the establishment and with him adding his sick germs to the mix. He promptly got up, walked over to a different table, and laid across it. "Honey, get off that table!" I sternly rebuked him. He stood and looked at me. I instantly saw in his eyes that he was not with it. Then he seemed to retch a bit before crumbling onto the floor. J was up in a flash and had Bubs on his feet and out the door, all the while heavily supporting him. Haddon was really out of it. He thought he was going to puke, but never really did, just gagged around a bit. At this point, I confess, I analyzed the fact that he was exhibiting flu-like symptoms. Here I was, dragging my fluish kid all over town to spread his germs. Wonderful. Then it hit me...I had just left this very ill child at home by himself for an hour. What had I been thinking???
Back at home, I gave him another breathing treatment and he perked up some initially, then fell asleep on the couch for about thirty minutes. When he woke up, he was scared. "I don't have enough air, Mom. I need to go to the hospital now." Now, Haddon is the kind of asthmatic that will stay in the soccer game and go all out until he either drops or the coach pulls him out rather than admit that he's having trouble breathing. So, for him to ask for help scared me!
We actually didn't even sit down in the ER. They sent him right in for the triage nurse to assess him. He was confused and having trouble answering her questions. His oxygen sats was at 82. He gagged around some more & puked up some snot. It was immediately determined that he needed to be tested for the flu...the swine flu.
I'll admit it. Though I was still worried about my kid, I was picturing the headlines: "Swine Flu Hits Oklahoma," "Pastor's Family Introduces Swine Flu to Their Congregation," "Dirks Family Dines Out, Exposing Entire Town to Swine Flu." Wouldn't you know that the very first case of swine flu in Oklahoma would be one of my kids? I almost had trouble believing that it was negative. Though he felt flu-ish, Bub actually had pneumonia, complicated by asthma. Two nights later, he's still in the hospital, but he's feeling much better. It's safe to say that he won't be running any marathons any time soon, I won't be winning any parenting awards, and the swine flu pandemic has (thus far) eluded the Dirks family.

Beef, It's What's For Dinner

2009-04-23T19:18:00.000-07:00

Being the happy homemaker that I am, I had roast in mind for supper tonight. I'd planned on putting it in around 12:30 when I got home from school for the day. Of course, I forgot to take it out of the freezer this morning. No problem, I assured myself, I had to come home to cook lunch for the school, so I'd pull it out then and just defrost it in the microwave. Haven and I headed home at 9:30. She was being very fussy at school, but we are doing standardized testing this week and I have a student testing in my office, so I had to take her home for an early nap. I still had to go to the grocery store to get what I needed for the nachos I would be cooking, but she'd be up in plenty of time and meanwhile I'd brown the taco meat. I laid her down and set to work. I even remembered to get the roast out and put it on auto-defrost in the microwave. While browning the meat, I made Avery's thank you notes on our computer and they are so CUTE! Look out Martha Stewart. The meat was finished, the thank you notes were done, but Haven was still sleeping. What time was it? 11:30! I was supposed to be at the school serving lunch at 11:30 and I still had to get to the store! Gah!
I threw the meat in the van (well, okay, I placed it carefully in the van...but I did hurry), ran upstairs, and pulled my sleeping baby out of her crib. As I drove to the store, I tried repeatedly to call the school and got no answer...since I wasn't there. Unsuccessful, I started trying teachers' cell phones so that I could let somebody know I was on my way, but still got nobody. Haven and I shopped like mad people and knocked it out in seven minutes flat. Unfortunately, my checker was in no hurry at all, of course. Finally, I was on my way back to the school and served the kids a delicious and nutritious meal. Whew!
I stopped by my office after serving lunch and ended up staying until 3:00 when Haven pooped her pants and I discovered that her bag was devoid of diapers. I gathered the kiddos, and three extras, and took my stinky baby home. Shortly after arriving there, I found my now totally defrosted roast still in the microwave. It was still cold, so I seasoned it and stuck it in the oven, hoping it'd be finished by seven or so.
Dinner preparations began in earnest around six-ish. I decided to go with mashed potatoes & gravy, biscuits, and veggies as sides for the roast. Addy said she'd rather have fried potatoes, so I sliced them up and slipped them in the skillet. I used up the last of the shortening and the last of the milk making biscuits. Thank goodness I had enough! I got them in the oven, then turned to my gravy. Once I'd stirred the flour in, it hit me...I had no milk. Ugh! I called J and asked him to pick some up milk on the way home from soccer practice. I turned off the heat under my almost gravy and hoped that it would be okay sitting for a while. Half an hour later, while standing in my pantry choosing green beans, I realized that I don't need to make gravy...I MADE FRIED POTATOES, NOT MASHED.
Is it bed time, yet?

Saturday

2009-04-20T17:23:00.000-07:00

I have no idea why I even look forward to Saturdays. Take this Saturday, for example, it was so full that I barely had time to catch my breath. For starters, I went into the weekend with some fabulous inner ear issues (picture sea sickness minus the pleasure of being on a boat, plus the stresses of trying to get the usual stuff done). Now, meclazine (clearly I have no idea how to spell the word, read it phonetically) is practically a miracle drug for nausea, but, unfortunately, even in small doses it renders me unconscious. So, I woke up around seven on Saturday morning in a drug induced stupor and had to consume large quantities of my drug of choice (coffee) in order to counter act it.
There was no time for lounging around enjoying a leisurely cup a joe, however. Avery's first soccer game was scheduled to start at nine and Haddon's first was at ten. Complicating my attendance of their soccer games was the candle fundraiser that I, myself, scheduled for ten o'clock that morning. Of course, being the chief, I planned on setting everything up for the candle making, getting the ladies started, then excusing myself to go cheer on my kiddos. That plan was foiled. Dashed by other people's Saturday plans. Instead of leaving at ten, I made several dozen candles single handedly. When the other parents arrived, rather than turning the process over to them, I held their hands and walked them through each step time and again. (What? I'm not controlling!) My husband called at eleven to ask me if I planned on breaking from the candle making that I wasn't supposed to be doing long enough to eat. Chagrined, I met he and the three younger kids at McDonald's.
I promised myself, my husband, and my children that I would make it to the next set of soccer games which were to both begin at noon. But, first, I had to go check on the candle makers! Yes, I stayed there longer than I intended, only rushing out the door when Jason called to check on my location. "I'm on my way," I called as I dashed from the building glancing worriedly over my shoulder at the candle makers. I made it to the games a few minutes late, but I was there! I cheered Bub and Princeska on as their teams routed their opponents (okay, whenever they were off the field I was calling the big girls at home and the parents at the school to bark instructions, but I DID cheer when they were playing.
After their games Haddon, Haven, and I ran to WalMart to pick up some last minute things for Avery's birthday party. We had only 2 hours until party time! We shopped like mad people, than dashed home again where I dropped our purchases and the children off before heading to the school. The ladies were still making candles, and apparently could handle it without me, so I hustled back to the house.
Hannah and Addy had cleaned the house, wrapped gifts, and Hannah had decorated the cake beautifully! Bub stuffed the pinata full of candy while the big girls and I finished setting up. Before I knew it, the first child had arrived (somewhat early, but who's counting?) and the party was off and running.
When every child was filled full of as much sugar as their little systems could handle, we handed them back to their parents. Hannah and I cooked supper. It was hard not to rush as we ate since I'd been hurrying all day long I couldn't seem to break the mode. After supper, Jason went with me to the school and we cleaned up the classroom that we had used for the candle making. I wasn't surprised to see a couple of large wax deposits and several wax dribbles on the carpet, but I wasn't excited about the prospect of cleaning them up. We went home, did the whole bath and bed routine, then I grabbed some rags and the iron and headed back to the school. It only took an hour and some elbow grease to iron the wax out of the carpet. As soon as I got back to the house I slipped into my jammies and fell into bed.
That, sadly, is a typical Saturday. To think, Saturday used to be my favorite day of the week!

Sinus Infections are Nothing to Sneeze At!

2009-04-12T22:02:00.000-07:00

Poor little Haven Esther! She started antibiotics for her bad sinuses on Monday. Doc put her on the good stuff, but by Wednesday she was feeling much worse. She was running 101 in the morning. I put her down for her morning nap at 9:30, then did some work while simultaneously debating with myself whether or not I should take her back to see Dr. K. At 12:30 she was still snoozing, so I went in my office to get her. She was extremely groggy. In fact, I think it would be fair to say that she never actually woke up. I drove around for a little & went through a drive through for some coffee (yum!), then we went home to eat lunch. She wouldn't even hold her head up in her high chair, so I gave her some ibuprophen and rocked her for a little. She was back out almost instantly, but I was surprised that she actually laid back down in her bed. Since she was so lethargic and obviously feverish as well, I put a call in to doc's office. They said I should bring her right in.
I hated to wake the little sick-o up, but I did feel that she was pretty sick and was worried that she would dehydrate herself since to that point she had been refusing to drink even when she was alert. So, I plucked her out of her crib and snapped her in her car seat all without rousing her. She didn't even wake up when I got her out of the car. She looked around a little once we got checked in, but then dozed off again on me. Sitting in the quiet waiting room, I was suddenly aware of how rapidly she was breathing. She was almost panting. The woman sitting across from me commented on it. Since we were being worked in, we waited for quite a little while. As we were waiting, I became increasingly concerned about Haven. Finally, we were called. When the nurse took her temp it was 105! I knew she was cooking, but had no idea it was that high. When she went back out, I tried to call J to let him know how sick she was, but he didn't answer his phone on my first 3 attempts. Finally, I texted him and asked him to pick the other kids up from school for me.
Doc came in and took a look at my limp noodle daughter and was immediately concerned as well. She could best be described as "lifeless," at that point. She was still not drinking even when coaxed. Dr. K said she needed to be admitted to the hospital. I tried again to call J and he finally answered. Once I filled him in on her condition he came to the office right away, then we were off to the ICU. Poor girl was poked and prodded, medicated and taped up. Finally, we had blood sent off to the lab, her nose swabbed, i.v. in place, and probes attached. Then we settled down for three long days of walking and rocking our poor little baby. She was such a trooper, never complained much...or maybe she just didn't feel well enough to complain!
Turns out she has her dad's sinuses. That is to say, they were infected. Days one and two were pretty rough, but day three (once she was feeling much better) was a trial! She did not want to be still or quiet. She was ready to go, go, go...even if there was an i.v. in her foot! The site finally infiltrated and it i.v. had to be removed, then she was unstoppable!

We are home now on quite a regimen of medication (decongestant, antibiotics, nose spray, ear drops, etc.), but SO glad to be out of that hospital room! She'll have her adenoids removed in a few weeks which should help with her sinus issues. Thanks to all who prayed for Haven and who are continuing to keep her in your prayers. She is as ornery as ever!

Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent

2009-04-03T20:11:00.000-07:00

Shortly after my last blog about how rough my week had been it got just a little worse. In order to protect the participants in this story, names have been changed.
Tonight a certain baby who we'll call Raven Hesther decided to attempt to plunge to her death from the top of my kitchen counter. When I heard her hit, I dropped the vat of hot soy wax I was carrying on my foot (subsequently ruining the excellent mop job I'd just finished). She was on the floor on her back. Her mouth was bleeding. I must have screamed because two panicked teenagers, Anna and Hattie, came rushing in from their basement bedroom. I scooped up Raven and simultaneously peed my pants. Not a little bit, either. Full on, pee running down my leg, peed my pants. I yelled at Anna to call "Mason," who had taken Madden to soccer. Hattie tried to wash the wax off my foot as I held and comforted Raven, then I had to change my pants and clean myself up. Raven was SCREAMING as Hattie held her. Anna told Mason to meet me at the ER. When I got there, Mason and Madden were already there. Mason was on the phone with his good friend, Doctor Smirkendall who said he was on his way.
By the time we got in the waiting room, Raven was pretty perky, but I was still pretty shaken up. Her chin was black and blue, but other than that I couldn't find a thing wrong with her. Dr. Smirkendall came in and examined her. She seemed fine to him, too, but he thought it would be best to do a ct scan since she'd fallen from such a height. She did great during the scan. Mason talked to her so sweetly and she just looked up at him and laid so still. During this time, my niece, Harley, and her father Ryan, picked Madden up and took him home with them. After the ct, we hung out with Dr. Smirkendall and waited on results while Raven snarfed down two bags of cheetos, a cookie, and a pkg. of M&Ms.
Finally, the word came. Good news. Raven's ct looked pretty good. The worst thing was actually her sinuses which were very congested. A long round of antibiotics should fix her right up. And as for me? I'm going to buy that baby a helmet and myself some depends, then I'll be alright.

Momma Said There'd be Days Like This

2009-04-03T14:32:00.000-07:00

I don't remember her saying there'd be so MANY, though. Today was one of them...and it was a doozy. Wait, come to think of it, this whole week was one of those days. Seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Give much thought to that expression, though, and you're bound to feel better. If EVERYTHING that could go wrong had, I wouldn't be here typing this. I'd be dead...and in heaven...and enjoying paradise. Which sounds a lot better than the day/week I had!
Not to complain, but here are a few of the things that went wrong this week. My secretary was gone all week. On top of that, it was month's end and start of the new month which usually brings more work than the two of us can handle together. AND I had a teacher gone today who we couldn't find a sub for, so everybody pitched in to try to make it work. Haven is sick...I know that's nothing unusual, but it certainly didn't help me get a lot of work done. Unfortunately, J is also not feeling very well and has been really busy. Needless to say, he hasn't been a whole lot of help (don't feel guilty, honey, you've tried). I've had to help Hannah with geometry. No need to expound on that. Addy's had tons of homework. Bub and Avery have had soccer practice almost every night. AND, I have a cyst on my neck. Wah!
Tomorrow will almost certainly be better. After all, it's Saturday, so there's no school. Then again, I will be sitting at the soccer fields for hours on end in hurricane force winds with my kamikaze toddler. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Wait, there's more. I also have to get some work done for school. We have a candle fundraiser coming up. Kids and parents (and of course, myself) make homemade candles to sell. However, before they actually go up for sale, Hannah and I are preparing dozens of sample packets to distribute to participating families. Our kitchen looks like a candle factory. Then, there's the laundry. It's almost unbelievable how much this family generates! Sure, the two big girls do their own, but we still only have one washer & dryer. We tend to have some kind of traffic jam in our laundry room. And, for some reason, I can get the laundry sorted, stain treated, washed, and dried, but it may take me a day or two to get it folded and put away...by which time, several more loads have been added. To make a long story short, the laundry never ends.
Sunday will definitely be better. Nothing like spending time in the Lord's house with His people. If the day goes really well, I may even get a Sunday afternoon nap! I'm telling you, if it weren't for Sunday, I don't think I'd make it through another Monday.

Hangin' in the Bat Cave!

2009-03-31T18:32:00.000-07:00

Tonight Haven Esther found a fun new place to play! I had taken the clothes out of the dryer and left the door open while I carried them into the living room. I came back to find that Haven had thrown her ball into the dryer and was sitting on the open door. She sat and sang to the ball for a while, occasionally sticking her head and/or feet inside. Then, she spied Bub's soccer ball and went after it. She threw it in, too, creating her own little ball pit! She climbed right inside! She spent about fifteen minutes singing and playing with the balls while I snapped shots, then tossed the balls out and climbed out after them.
She's so funny!

The ER Can Be Fun!

2009-03-20T16:47:00.000-07:00

Ever taken your kids to the ER only to spend at minimum four hours in a waiting room or patient room with no toys? Haven and I found ourselves in just that situation on Thursday. A bored toddler who doesn't feel well anyway cooped up in a boring environment is a recipe for meltdown. However, with the right attitude and a little creative thinking, the ER can really be a fun place. Here's how Haven and I enjoy ourselves on our trips to the ER.
You will probably spend some time in the waiting room, even if you appear to be the only people in the hospital. Don't let this get you down. Use this time for fun!
* Play "find that germ." - there are a plethora of interesting buggies at the ER. Encourage your toddler to touch and lick every possible surface. Face it, he is going to do it anyway, so you might as well look at it as a hobby.
* Visit the bathroom as often as possible - in addition to being another excellent source of nasty germs, the bathroom has many fun toys in it such as the automatic paper towel dispenser, flush toilet, and running water.
* Your child will likely have the opportunity to increase his or her vocabulary by a few choice words when the unruly drunk who has refuse treatment is escorted out by security.
* There is generally a candy/snack/soda machine in the waiting room. Your child is already ill, do not worry about good nutrition at this point. Spend as much time as possible letting him select crap to eat and drink, insert coins, and push buttons. This exercise is not only good for learning negotiation skills, but also improves hand-eye coordination and can be referred to for bribery later in the visit.
* Once you meet the triage nurse, you can spend a few minutes entertaining him as he tries (valiantly) to weigh, measure, and examine your little one. Encourage your child to be as challenging as possible. This not only helps the nursing staff to hone their skills, but also kills approximately 4 times as many minutes as cooperating.
In the examination room, a myriad of educational opportunities await you and your toddler. Use the posters to discuss body parts and encourage the child to find the matching body parts on his or her own body. ("Eye...where's Haven's eye? Good job!
* Nose...where's Haven's nose? That's right! Tonsil...where's Haven's tonsil? Try again. Nope. Look at the poster, honey...")
* Children love lifelike pictures in vibrant colors. Help your toddler learn all about the various infectious rashes displayed about the room.
* The examination room is also and excellent place to learn about cause and effect. For example, when you pull the cord attached to this picture of the nurse an alarm will sound and nurses will come running. Okay, in reality, it's more like when you pull the cord attached to this picture of the nurse a nurse will appear in approximately 20 minutes unless your mother deciphers the obscure symbolism of the mechanism and turns off the alarm in which case no one will ever show up to inquire and if your mother brings it up the nurse will exclaim, "Oh, that's what it was!"
* When the doctor comes in your seriously ill child will probably perk up immediately, flirt a little, speak in complete sentences, and wrap up the show with a charming song and dance number. This is highly entertaining for both the child and the medical professional, but somewhat uncomfortable for the parent or parents who are still trying to convince said doctor that the child is, in fact, quite ill.
* The doctor is likely to order any variety of medical testing in order to placate you, the worried parent. This is great fun for little ones and they will usually ooh and ahhh over all of the bright colors mommy is turning as the doctor patronizes her.
* Of course, the entire trip cannot be fun and games. That's why there are medical tests. However, you can still make this time as fun as possible. I like to think of blood work as a wrestling match. Sometimes it is a toss-up who will win. X-rays are similar to a game of freeze tag with less running. Gagging during the strep test makes for some funny noises! And if your child has an RSV or influenza screen, just point out that someone ELSE is picking their nose for a change. See? Wasn't that fun?
* After the medical tests, your child will probably need some comfort even if you did an excellent job of making them game-like. This is the perfect time to whip out the junk foods you purchased in the waiting room.
* Now that your child has a sugar high, you two can explore the examining room together! Haven and I do several fun things while we wait for the doctor to come back in and tell us that it's viral and we should just go home: investigate all of the cupboards and drawers...there's lots of stuff in there and you're probably paying for it all, anyway; pull out the little plastic tips for the ottoscope and replace them in the top of the tube (this can last for HOURS); try latex gloves on baby's hands and feet and then wad them up and stuff them back in the box; let baby try all of the buttons on the pulse-ox.

Before you know it, it's time to go home, play time is over. Your child may be sad and even refuse to leave. It is best not to threaten, simply reassure the child that you will return soon to play. Remember that it is important to follow through on your promises. The next time your baby is ill and you have about $400 and 4 hours to kill, head back to the ER for more fun!

Don't you wish your sister was fun like me?

2009-03-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

Last year my sister and I were talking about our birthdays. I am a big baby about my b-day. I milk that sucker for all it's worth. The entire week of my birthday is my birthday and I expect special treatment the whole time! My sister, on the other hand, shared with me that she just doesn't get that excited about her birthday any more. In fact, her birthday is somewhat of a letdown for her. That night Jason and I laid in bed and hatched a plan for me to surprise her and just show up at her workplace for her birthday sometime.
This was that year! Haven had not met her Aunt Marcy, Uncle Tommy, or cousins, Ian and Tommy, so I brought her along on the trip. I solicited the help of a couple of co-conspirators, Marcy's husband (Tommy) and my mother. Tommy engaged the help of Marcy's boss and we were off and running.
My original idea was to show up at the hospital the morning of Mar's b-day and whisk her off to lunch. That morphed into whisking her off to the spa as well and I had a great time shopping on-line for spas and treatments for us to enjoy together. Bringing Haven made the plan just a little bit more complicated, but my mother was more than pleased to keep her for me while Mar and I pampered ourselves. Haven and I flew in to Tampa on Wednesday evening and Mom met us at the airport. Haven was a nightmare at dinner. I'm pretty sure she was just sick and tired of being corralled all day! Mom let me know that there was a minor change in our plans since Tommy actually arranged for Mar to have the day off for her birthday. Now we would be surprising her at her house instead of at the hospital. No problem. The only thing I was really worried about was Haven. She was a mess until we got out of the airport! Once we were back at mom's place Haven settled right in. She even slept like a champion. Mom and I conspired to get up around seven and head to Marcy's (which is in Lakeland, about 50 minutes away) at 9:30 a.m.
Haven and I overslept, not dragging ourselves out of bed until shortly after eight. Then, Marcy called Mom and said, "What are your plans for the day?" Mom told her she didn't have any, so Mar said, "Well, I have the day off for my birthday and I thought I could come to Tampa and have lunch with you." Mom was thinking on her feet and said that was a great plan but that she had some errands to run beforehand. They arranged to meet at 11:30 which would still give Mom, Haven, and me a chance to get to her house before she left it. We had to leave about twenty minutes earlier than we had planned, so we hurried around and zoomed off to Lakeland. I was feeling really nervous in the car! We were almost to her house when Tommy called and said he'd meet us there (he didn't want to miss out on the surprise). We pulled in to Marcy's driveway and Tommy pulled in just after us. Apparently Marcy heard the cars because she pulled open the back door just as we were approaching it. Mom and Tommy were in front, so that's who Mar saw first. Then she saw Haven and I. I'm pretty sure she really was surprised!
I got Haven settled in at Marcy's house, then we were off to the spa! We had an amazing four hours of pampering. We enjoyed a pedicure with hot stone massage, a moisture therapy hand wrap, a fabulous facial, and a tropical body wrap. Now, I'd never had a body wrap before and wasn't prepared for it, so I'm going to give you the scoop in case your sister ever whisks you off for a spa day.
The tropical body wrap was amazing...once I got over the sense that someone was actually bathing me. After changing into a lovely paper bra and panty ensemble, I laid down on what I can only describe as a bathtub table which was covered with towels, plastic, and more towels. Some of those towels then went over my nakedness. Then the spa person (I really have no idea how to identify her position...maybe I'll refer to her as the "bather") wet me down with a long arm covered with shower heads that was somehow attached to the ceiling. Yes, she wet both the towels and my skin. Afterward, she buffed my body with something that smelled fruity and wonderful. The sensation was akin to a light massage. Next she rinsed me again and then replaced my wet towels with dry ones. That was followed with a tropical body mask which she massaged into my skin. Then she wrapped me in plastic (seriously) and left me to baste for a while. I was so relaxed that I dozed off and only woke up when my own snore startled me. Then my own personal bather came back in, hosed me down once again, and then lotioned me thoroughly. It was heavenly.
After all of that, Marcy and I stumbled into a nearby restaurant for soup and an appetizer. The food revived us sufficiently for us to drive home. We all had a good couple of days. I got to spend time with my mother, sister, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, brother, nephews and furry niece (Daisy). I was exhausted by the time Haven and I flew home EARLY Saturday morning, but it was a fun, fast trip. Now, all I can think about is what Marcy is going to expect next year!

The Last Melon

2009-03-07T05:23:00.000-08:00

The last day of our cruise was our beach day. We were at Great Stirrup Cay, Norwegian's "private" island, where we could snorkel, kayak, or just lay in the sun. I was planning on all three...that is, until the captain came on and announced that due to the wind and wave conditions it would be impossible to tender us to the island and we would have to spend an unscheduled day at sea instead. Bummer. Especially since it was Jason's birthday and I really wanted it to be a special day for him. My initial disappointment gave way when we got up to the top deck and found that it was beautiful out. I was determined to make the best of my last day of vacation and enjoy it to the fullest. It was a beautiful day on board a beautiful ship and I could spend it with my wonderful husband and two of my best friends. Who could ask for more?

So, instead of lounging on the beach all day, we ate a leisurely breakfast in the main dining room (I had fresh fruit with cottage cheese, followed by a waffle with banana compote), then I did my favorite thing...went back to bed. After a good nap, I was ready to face the day at sea! We played Spades with the Dostals (girls against the boys, of course), walked around the ship, shopped in the gift shop, then had a fancy lunch. After lunch, Jason and I donned our swimsuits and headed up to the top deck. It was wall to wall people! After much searching, I found two deck chairs next to each other and staked my claim. J worked on his sermon and I read. Gradually, the other sunbathers cleared out until it was only Jason and I in our area. We spent nearly 3 hours soaking up the sun. It was so relaxing! Afterward, we cleaned up and went to the show, then out to dinner with Andrew & Michelle. The wait staff sang loudly and off-key to Jason and served him birthday cake. He hated it...I loved it! As we turned in early, I was already sad that the cruise was over...and already thinking about the next one!

To All my Fans (Miranda)

2009-03-05T10:07:00.000-08:00

I'm back. Sorry for the drama. I'm sure I can blame it on somebody besides myself...but I can't think of anyone!

Day 3 of vacay we ported in Nassau, Bahamas. It was a much nicer day out, the sun was shining and the wind was just a breeze. The first thing we did was shop (yay!). While shopping, I noticed something peculiar happening in the Bahamas. The previous day, I thought it was original to the Subway in Freeport, but of course we visited the Subway in Nassau and found the same situation there and in the two of the other bathrooms we visited. Apparently it is commonplace in the bahamas to have to be buzzed in to the bathroom of a store or restaurant. Three bathrooms then had steep stairs leading up to them. It gave me a sense of impending doom...like the restrooms were booby trapped!

We braved the marketplace for an hour or so, rejecting all the cries of, "taxi, I take you where you wanna go, mon" and "hey, pretty lady, let me braid your hair" and "baby, I take you to Atlantis...you wanna see Atlantis, I take you." We met up with our tour group and boarded a large catamaran (motorized). Our tour operators were wonderful. They gave us an interesting rundown on the history of Nassau and pointed out the houses of the rich and famous along the way to the reef. Jason and I boarded our clear kayak and off we paddled. I was a little nervous about the kayak because it was a lot more like a canoe. It was wider than a traditional kayak and thin edged, not like most ocean kayaks. Apparently they are easier to tip, too, because we were briefed on what to do in case of just such and emergency and each kayak was actually equipped with a baler (which I was hoping not to use). I relaxed once we got into a paddling rhythm, though. It was fun to see through the kayak at what was swimming just under us. Too much looking down made me feel motion sick, though! We kayaked for about 30 - 45 minutes, then paddled back to the boat, geared up for snorkeling, and jumped in the water.
Even though it was sunny and much warmer out, the water was still cold enough to take your breath away when you jumped in. Andrew & Michelle proved they were smarter than us by staying in their kayak! Once we got going, though, we saw an amazing and beautiful array of fish. Some of them were HUGE. We saw one that was about as big as Avery! I can't remember them all, but I know we identified damselfish, parrotfish, grunt, Nassau grouper, white margates, etc. I could've stayed all day...but it was really cold. When our tour operator blew the whistle for us to get out of the water, I was ready! We sat in the sun on the bow of the boat as we road back to Nassau. On the way we actually say Nicolas Cage boarding his yacht (he owns a home in Nassau). Not one of my favorite actors, but still fun to brag about.
Probably the funniest thing on our whole trip happened as soon as we got off the boat. We were standing on the sidewalk, trying to decide what to do next, when we were approached by a man. He assured us that he wasn't trying to sell us anything, but that he had a "free gift" for us. He kept blathering on as he dug in his pockets (cursing like a sailor) and finally produced 3 anklets and a bracelet which he then handed to us. He informed us that the anklets & bracelet were worth about $10 each at the straw market and what they were made of. He started telling us that he worked for the division of tourism, blah, blah, blah, then tried to force us to put on the jewelry we were still awkwardly holding. In fact, he picked up my foot and slid the anklet on my leg. Then, Michelle tried to put on her anklet and it busted, scattering coral all over. She was so embarrassed! The rest of us almost couldn't hold it together it was so funny! He gave her another one and assured her it was no problem. Then he started going on and on about how he worked as a "big brother" for the children's home (really? what do you do, teach them to curse and lie) and if we gave a donation for the jewelry it would go to buy the kids shoes. It was so comical. We ended up giving him $20 combined...mainly to get away from him!
We ate at the hardrock cafe, then shopped at the straw market. After some t-shirt shopping for the kids, we headed back to the boat.

NOW HEAR THIS

2009-03-04T09:15:00.000-08:00

I just deleted my blog titled, "Just point me to the nude beach." I had to delete it because there was a photo of my husband on it and that combined with the title apparently prompted several people to contact him.
Let it be known that if you had bothered to read the blog it was about me not having packed adequately for the trip. My husband's picture was only there because it was a nice pic of us on the trip.
If you have further comments about any of my blogs, please be so kind as to address them to me rather than him. At this moment in time I'm so ticked off that I just don't care to blog any more.

Snorkel, Sail, & Sea-sickness

2009-03-02T11:53:00.000-08:00

The first night of our cruise we ate at the main dining room, booked our excursions, went to a show, and played cards with Andrew & Michelle. It was a blast! Our excursion for the next day was "Snorkel & Sail." We were to depart at 9:00 a.m. for our catamaran, sail out to reef, snorkel for an hour or so, then sail back in. We were meeting the Dostals for breakfast at 8:00, so we set an alarm for seven. Unfortunately, the captain's announcement at eight is what actually woke us up! We called Andrew & Michelle and then hustled around to get ready and still managed a nice breakfast before going ashore.

The day was surprisingly cool in Freeport, but I was trying to be tough and not complain. The bus ride was warm, but once we got on the sail boat and were moving across the water I felt pretty chilled. I was still excited to snorkel, though, and even though the sea was pretty rough, I jumped in as soon as the boat stopped. The water was so cold it was hard to catch my breath! Jason and I swam out to the reef and tried to stay afloat as we identified brain coral, fan coral, clown fish, snapper, and many other amazing undersea varieties of life. Soon I forgot how cold I was and just enjoyed the sneak peek under the sea. I've never snorkeled in such choppy water, though. "Choppy" is probably not the correct term as we had actual waves rolling over us and lifting us up and down. I was actually a little green around the gills when our guide blew his whistle to call us back to the boat. When we got there I had a hard time climbing up the ladder since the catamaran was being raised as much as three feet in the water with each wave! I finally climbed aboard after suffering minor bruises and abrasions from wrestling the ladder. Once on deck, I felt better, but I noticed that a few of my fellow tourists were barfing over the side of the boat!

Jason was shaking, not shivering, when he climbed aboard, so we climbed to the front of the vessel and found the sun. We ended up laying snuggled up in the sun on the nets stretched across the two hulls of the catamaran as we sailed back. That was probably my favorite part of that excursion! Once we were back on dry land we popped into a Subway (we've eaten at Subways in 3 countries, now) and got a pop, then headed out to do some shopping. On the top of my list was a long sleeved shirt which we actually ended up finding in a Harley Davidson shop. It was really strange to see cars driving on the "wrong" side of the road, and some of the traffic signs were quite different, too. I was highly amused at the "speed hump" signs!

The last thing we did in Freeport was visit the beach. We spread out our towels and lounged in the sun which had decided to come out and stay out. The sand was like flour it was so soft and white and the water was an amazing turquoise blue. At 3:30 p.m., we reluctantly caught the bus back to our cruise ship. It was the kind of day I could relive a thousand times, but in 999 of those times, I'd make the sea a bit calmer and the weather a bit warmer!

Vacay Day 1

2009-02-24T14:24:00.000-08:00

After a restless night of tossing and turning and wondering if I had remembered everything, Jason and I awoke at 5 a.m., shoved a few last minute items in our bags, and were leaving Woodward by 6:00 a.m. It was a great drive to Tulsa (mainly because I slept while Jason drove). We were pleasantly surprised to find that Tulsa airport was clean, not crowded, and a relaxed environment. We cleared check-in and security at a leisurely pace and commented several times on how much we enjoyed that particular airport. I had a few gripes about American (where you now get NO free luggage, but have to pay $15 for the first bag and $25 for the second), but all in all, it had been a relaxed and easy trip to that point. We even ran into an old friend in the airport and had a nice chat with her.
The first flight was eventless, though I did note that while pop was still complementary, no free peanuts or pretzels were offered. American was losing points with me by the moment. We landed in Dallas, got a bite to eat, then boarded our next flight.
Once aboard flight 484, we sat at the gate for an absurdly long amount of time before the captain came on the intercom and announced that one of the craft’s lights was broken and would need to be replaced. He explained that it was not a complicated repair, but was an involved one. He estimated that the repair would take twenty minutes. After twenty minutes it was announced that the mechanics were now there to fix the issue. Twenty minutes after that we were notified that while the repair was complete, the appropriate paperwork now had to be filed before we could take-off. The passengers of the flight breathed a collective sigh of relief when we finally pulled out of the gate and onto the runway. Our flight was now about 50 minutes delayed, but since we weren’t making any connecting flight, our cruise didn’t leave until the next afternoon, and we had no children with us to entertain, J and I were just going with the flow. It was smooth “sailing” for an hour or so until they stopped the in-flight movie and the captain made another announcement. “Blah, blah, blahbedy blah, don’t panic, blah, emergency landing in Tampa. Return to your seats and put your seatbelts on.” WHAT??? What did he say? Jason (who was actually listening at the beginning translated for me). Apparently an indicator light was on and according to FAA regulations we were required to make an emergency landing. I had a split second or so of relief…and then we started rapidly descending. We started REALLY rapidly descending. J and I started praying. It was a little bit intense. Once we were below the clouds and closer to the ground I felt a little better, though…until we approached the runway and saw police cars, ambulances, and firetrucks with lights on waiting for us. I looked at Jason, “Those are for us.” I can’t remember if he replied because then we were touching down and all of those emergency vehicles were rushing towards us as we lurched to a halt in the middle of the runway.
The captain came back on and announced that we’d had a fuel leak from the left engine and we’d have to sit on the runway while the emergency crew and repair crew handled the situation, we could not approach the airport while leaking fuel. “Because we don’t want to blow up the whole airport,” Jason and I finished that thought. Great. And I had felt relieved that we were on the ground! Eventually one of the flight crew came back on and told us that we were going to pull into the airport, but that we should stay on the plane unless we decided that we would not continue that flight. I have to admit, that had definitely crossed my mind. In fact, at one point during our oh-so-rapid descent, I looked at J and told him that if they were just going to repair this plane and put us right back on it I’d rather rent a car and drive to Miami. I think about a quarter of the passengers disembarked eventually. We were not among them. After an hour and a half on the ground fixing the issue, re-checking the plane, re-issuing the flight plan, and filing an incident report, we were back in the air. After a smooth 38 minute flight we arrived safely in Miami! Thank you, Lord!

HAHAHbaby

2009-02-05T10:58:00.001-08:00

So my webstore is up and running (even though I only have 5 slings in it, to date)! I put a link on my blog. The logo was designed by Ad on our home computer. I am so impressed with the job she did! She is an amazing artist, but I had no idea it would transfer so well to creating computer graphic art. Hannah, Addy, and Haven have also helped me modelling slings for the website (one size does NOT fit all). Sometimes my own Sweet Haven doesn't want to cooperate very well, though! Who wants to buy a sling advertised by a crying baby in it?

I have explored etsy some, too, and it is an amazing place! It is solely for handcrafted items. I have found some fabulous sellers there with just fantastic items. There are so many creative people out there! I've saved some on my webstore, so you can check out my favorites, too! One of them sells the craziest little knit hats...they look like they belong on the Whos down in Whoville!

webstore

2009-02-04T17:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's up and running, though there's not much in it yet! Seems like it takes as long to take the pics, load them, and list the sling as it does to sew the thing! Address is:
http://www.HAHAHbaby.etsy.com Check it out!

Invisi-blog

2009-02-04T14:42:00.000-08:00

I have a problem...it starts with an "L" and ends with an "AZINESS." Obviously, that's why I'm not blogging very regularly. But there are legitimate reasons, too....first, Tony fixed my computer issues (YAY!) so now I can keep writing my books. I am really trying to finish two of them this year, though I have no idea how to go about trying to get them published or if they will even be publishable.
Second, I've been extremely busy. Sick and absent teachers combined with a ridiculous shortage of substitutes has me pulling double and triple duty at times. Since I'm already mom/principal and some days cafeteria cook, many days I find myself juggling mom/principal/substitute teacher/cook. By the time I get home, I am too tired to blog, email, write, or even eat! It's also just a busy time at school...pretty much from now until mid-May. We have the spelling bee, the science fair, the art fair, the spring review, achievement testing, student convention, etc. Not to mention the fact that with the new semester I will be coming in 2-3 afternoons a week to teach drama. I would love to be able to hire somebody else to do some of these things, but the sad fact is that even if the school could afford to hire someone I have no idea who on earth that person would be!
Thirdly, I'm turtling. This is what Jason calls it when I get stressed and overwhelmed and begin to avoid people. My bed starts to have an almost irresistible appeal and I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. It has a lot to do with the weather, too, because my threshold for stress significantly decreases in the winter months.
In short, I'm still here, just slackin'!

Failure...It's What I Do

2009-01-29T15:44:00.000-08:00

If there is one thing that I'm REALLY good at, it's failing. Seriously. I am one of those people who will inadvertantly mess up anything they try to do. I can fail at almost anything. If I go on a diet, I will instantly gain weight. If you give me something important, I promise you I will lose it. If I set a goal, I will actually move further away from it. If I love someone, I will hurt them. If something is precious to me, I will break it. If I get something nice, I will ruin it. If failure could be considered a talent, then it's mine.
If I didn't try so hard that would be one thing, but I do. Sometimes I hate being me.

Wild Child

2009-01-28T06:17:00.001-08:00

Haven Esther is finally feeling better! Her nose is still runny, but for the first time since October, she is both off antibiotics AND fever free. Praise God! She is so funny. Even sick, she is very active, but feeling better she is an absolute tornado of activity.
Yesterday at school, she walked up and down the hall visiting classrooms. She would peek her head in and say, "Hi!" She also enjoyed unloading student desks whenever she could and cleared a shelf or two of books in the library. Haven spent a lot of time in the three year old classroom. She thinks those are her people! She even joined kindergarten and did a paper with them. Mrs. O gave her her very own seat, paper, and pencil. She stayed in the kindergarten classroom until Mrs. O had to tell her "no" about something, then she left. Don't you wish you could just leave when someone told you "no?" I'm so thankful that the students and teachers don't seem to get tired of her antics...AND that she takes a 2 hour morning nap!
Her favorite things lately are writing, climbing (which, unfortunately, includes lots of falling), eating, and spinning in circles. She is a handful, but so much fun! She's become quite a ham and will do things over and over again just to get a laugh. When I took all 5 kids to "Paul Blart, Mall Cop" Saturday night her wildness just about did me in. She sat on my lap for approximately ten minutes. During that ten minutes, however, she was absolutely obsessed with the little boy in front of us. It was like a wrestling match as she tried to pat him, touch his hair, and lean forward to talk to him and I tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to restrain her without making her too mad. Finally, I stood her up next to me in the seat and she ate popcorn and drank my drink for a while. Then she turned around and discovered that there was another highly entertaining little boy behind us. She waved at him, shouted to him, and offered him bites of her popcorn. He loved it. I let her get down on the floor (I know...eeeeewwwwww), but she immediately knocked over my full 44 ounce beverage causing a mini waterfall, so I picked her back up. Then, she decided that I didn't need a seat and pushed me out of mine. I squatted on the floor watching her as she sat in my seat munching popcorn with a pop between her little legs. She seemed quite content that way, so I asked Bubs to move and give me his seat (squatting is hard on the knees). As soon as I got into his seat, though, Haven climbed over the arm and proceeded to push me out of it. Apparently I was not allowed to have a seat? Then she decided that it was super funny to grab my hair and shake my head around. She was laughing hysterically and I was getting dizzy...I caved & called Jason to come & get her. We made it about an hour into the movie, which is about 50 minutes longer than J thought we'd make it!
Got to go, my bundle of energy is getting into something again!

Give a Sling a Shot

2009-01-22T09:37:00.000-08:00

Haven Esther was a colicky little baby. If it hadn't been for my pouch sling and the swaddle blanket, I'm not sure how I'd have made it through the first two or three months! While I loved my sling, there were a few things I'd have done differently had I designed it. For one thing, the shoulder was just as wide as the middle, so I had to fold it over to keep it out of my face. Inevitably, it would come unfolded and flop into my face when I had both hands busy. Also, once she got a little bit bigger, it would have been nice to be able to attach a baby toy or two to the sling since it's really hard to get all the way to the floor and back up while you are wearing baby. Still, I loved my sling! I even bought a pattern so I could sew them for friends and myself.

Recently, I started sewing slings again, but this time I'm including some up-grades. For example, my sling is tapered at the shoulder. I've also sewn in 1-3 toy loops and added an elastic topped pocket (to hold binky, cell phone, keys, etc.). I LOVE this sling!!! I have named it "Sweet Haven." I'm going to start selling them on ebay and possibly look into getting some local boutique stores to carry them. Next up? Shopping cart covers that double as high chair seat covers (for restaurants). It's sew much fun!

In Other News...

2009-01-21T09:19:00.000-08:00

Is anyone else TIRED of the inaugural coverage? I miss all of the other random news stories that make network news interesting: shark attacks, kidnappings, miraculous rescues. To be perfectly candid, I could care less what Michelle Obama wore to the inaugural ball and that has nothing to do with the fact that I strongly opposed her husband's election. It's just over kill for me.

I also find it highly hypocritical that the media who so strongly condemned Palin for spending X amount of dollars on clothing during the election feel it necessary to tell the nation that Michelle Obama is going to be our new fashion icon. What? I have no doubts that if Governor Palin had appeared less than chic on the campaign trail we would have heard about it. I also feel certain that if our new first lady had shown up in her famed "off the rack" wear as opposed to a designer label that we would have been told how down to earth and charming Michelle is in her style. It offends the subdued feminist in me that we even have a running commentary on who is wearing what in politics. We even got a rundown this morning of what the Obama girls were wearing!

I know the hoopla will not only die down, soon, but disappointment in Obama's presidency will settle in. There is always such hope when the new prez is sworn in, but the sharks are circling and as soon as he makes his first mistake the media will dice him up and toss him in as chum. Still, I'm looking forward to that day! Can't wait to hear about the latest news in electronics, the impossibly ancient guy who is graduating from high school, or the best vacation spots in South America. Bring on the news!

Conundrums

2009-01-19T08:50:00.001-08:00

We apparently have a rogue curser at the school. I'm pretty sure I know who it is, though I've never caught him (student shall be referred to as him, this should not be read as an actual indication of gender) in the act. I'm not sure exactly how to handle the situation, but I've had a parent complain twice about their children having heard cursing at school. Mind you, these are high school students we are talking about, but they ARE in a Christian school where (as the parent repeatedly points out) most students attend in order to avoid precisely the kind of atmosphere where daily cursing takes place.

I have alerted the teacher to the situation and even the location...apparently all cursing is taking place as they play basketball. She hasn't caught the curser right handed (or tongued), either. Given the number of basketball induced accidents we've had lately, I'm tempted just to declare a moratorium on basketball for the time being.

Why do my oldest students give me more trouble than the youngest? My highschoolers seem to have even less self control than the three year olds in the preschool class. I'm throwing up my hands!

I'm Baaaaaa-aaaack!

2009-01-17T19:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, so here's the deal. Apparently I can either write or blog. Since one of my new year's resolutions was to finish two of my books this year (have three going, at present), I have been concentrating on the writing. It's been going really well...until this week. For some unknown reason, my computer has decided that it can't open any word documents. It did this shortly after we got it and then just began working just as suddenly as it had quit, so I hope it fixes itself shortly. What happens is that my stories continue on in my head and it becomes hard to get so much put down on "paper."
Just for fun, here is a brief synopsis of each book:
Walking Away - the wife of a successful plastic surgeon gets in her car and just keeps on going. eventually she figures out that the emptiness that filled her life in L.A. has followed her because it is IN her. Along the journey, the Lord puts key people in her life who influence her toward Christ.
Ravenbrook - (teen fiction) a town who has become a living science experiment due to biochemical waste infiltrating its water supply. many children were born with mutations before the company doing the polluting was shut down...some of the mutations are super-power like. these teens will struggle with every day teenage issues complicated by their mutations.
In the End - a group of Americans go underground and survive the end of life as we know it on planet earth. deep in their underground bunker, they create their own society as they struggle to survive. are they the only humans left on the planet? has God forgotten them?
So, there you have it. You can safely assume that as long as I'm posting on blogspot, my word documents are inaccessible!

The Wolf (cont.)

2008-12-25T17:37:00.000-08:00

Monday morning we took the kids down to the water park pretty early and played for a couple of hours. Of course, Haven refused to get wet, but I did try to take her into the toddler area and engage her there. I went down several slides with Haddon, Hannah, and Addy. I think their favorite was the big yellow one because you could go down on a 3 seater tube. Mid-morning, the big girls and I left the others and went upstairs to get ready to hit the mall! Due to a miscommunication, we found out about half an hour later that our mall trip had been postponed for a few hours. SO, back to the water park we went! This time I finally remembered to bring my camera and spent the next two hours alternately riding slides and trying to keep my camera dry while taking pictures.

The whole time at the water park, Avery insisted on playing in the toddler area. She enjoyed the little slides and fountains and was too scared to try the bigger kid area. Jason tried to talk her into it and even got her up to the top of one of the slides, but she chickened out and they ended up climbing back down again instead of sliding down. Jason and I decided that she needed to be pushed a little bit. We just knew she'd love the bigger slides if she'd only give them a try! So we came up with a plan: I would take her up to the top of the slide and Jason would wait at the bottom to "catch" her. I never gave her a chance to back out, just kept hurrying her up the play structure to the slides. As soon as we reached the line (the very short line), she started shaking her head and her face was a mask of fear. Because I am super mom, I ignored her and jabbered on about how fun water slides are. After only a minute or two, she was up! She looked up at me with stark terror on her trusting little face and said, "I don't want to!" I looked down into those beautiful, weepy blue eyes and scooped her up and physically sat her on the slide. Then (mother of the year that I am), as soon as the lifeguard blew his whistle, I shoved her down the slide...but first I had to peal her little fingers off the top of the tube. I watched expectantly for her to come around the curve where I could see her and I fully expected her to be screaming like a banshee when she appeared. Nope! She came around the curve sitting up and smiling hugely. VICTORY! I slid down to meet her and she threw her arms around me and declared, "I did it, Mom!" After that, she didn't want to do anything but that slide...but only THAT one. I guess I should've taken her up and pushed her down the other one so she could enjoy it, too!

Megan, LaNora, Hannah, Addy, and I had an interesting time trying to even get out of the hotel...I ended up running three flights of stairs to the room three times looking for Addy, then making sure Haddon made it safely to the room, then finding Addy all over again. I was slightly out of breath, but not too tired for shopping! The five of us hit Legends shopping center and had a great time. There were tons of sales and though the stores were busy, they weren't packed as I'd thought they might be. Sometimes we shopped together and sometimes we all went our separate ways but stayed in touch via cell phone. I spent some of my Christmas money on two tops, a pair of rain boots that I'd fallen in love with, and a pair of magnetic earrings that Hannah and I attached to our noses to get a rise out of Jason. He didn't fall for our fake nose rings, though. As soon as he saw Hannah's he knew they were fake...notice he didn't put it past me, just our teenage daughter!

Monday night (our final night at the Wolf) was our family's night to entertain. A little bit of history before I share the events of our evening. I am a planner. I get an idea, create a plan, and stick to the plan even if it kills me. Jason, on the other hand, wants to explore all options and keep them open until deciding (usually at the last possible moment) what he wants to do. So.....even though it drove me crazy, he wouldn't decide what our entertainment was going to be. Instead, he chose a few possibilities and printed out mapquest maps to all of them. Monday afternoon, he handed down the decision that we would go to Rainforest Cafe and called for reservations. Then he (painstakingly) hand copied his mapquest directions so that each vehicle would have their own set of directions. We all descended on the lobby for a group photo that took just a little longer than anticipated to capture, before climbing into our perspective vehicles. I had the task of entering the address into Lola (our Garmin GPS). Even though we were leaving just a little behind schedule, we'd still make it for our reservations. However, when we had supposedly arrived at our destination, there was no mall OR Rainforest Cafe in sight. Jason realized that he must've copied the wrong address and directions for everyone because we were in the parking lot of his second choice. We had a brief meeting of the minds and decided to go ahead and stay there since Mylee was getting really worked up in her car seat. I was already annoyed when we walked inside and the interior did nothing to improve my mood. It was dark and filled with video games...not kid video games, the adult kind with lots of violence and half naked women. I was so embarrassed! Jeremy and Aaron had taken our whole family out to nice restaurants and here we were at an adult Chuck E. Cheese for our night! Still hopeful, J walked up to the counter and got the details. Unfortunately, all they had to eat were things like nachos and pizza by the slice. Only the two big girls and the adults were tall enough to race on the track (obviously the main attraction) and the track was about the same temp as outside...around freezing. We all piled back into cars, searched for Rainforest Cafe on our Garmins, and headed out. I was just so relieved that we weren't staying at that place!!! Poor Jason felt awful about the whole thing, but it could've happened to anyone and in only a few minutes we were at the Rainforest Cafe who had graciously held our reservation. The food was good, the kids and adults enjoyed the atmosphere, and we had a great time.

I really hope we do this again for Christmas. I highly recommend the Great Wolf Lodge, but the main thing was spending time together and building memories. It was a great trip!

The Wolf

2008-12-24T08:54:00.000-08:00

For Christmas this year, Grandma & Papa wanted to do something different than gifts. Instead, they took their sons (and their sons' families) to Great Wolf Lodge in Kansas City. What a great trip we had! The lodge has a rustic theme and is centered around families. It even has an indoor water park! Check it out: http://www.greatwolf.com/kansascity/activities/waterpark Their idea for our gifts to them and each other was for each brother and his wife to plan the entertainment for one evening of the trip.

We arrived Saturday afternoon after a LONG 7 hour car trip. We actually only stopped once and it may have worked to our advantage that Haven was sick and dehydrated since she didn't feel much like moving around! Although we had looked up the lodge on the internet, I was blown away when we got inside of our room. We had two queen sized beds and a fold out couch downstairs and another queen sized bed in the loft room. We also had a kitchenette, bath and a half, and our own fully functional gas fireplace. Here's the floor plan: http://www.greatwolf.com/node/857 Here are a couple of pictures and a description...we had the Loft Fireplace Suite: http://www.greatwolf.com/kansascity/suites/suites
After settling in to the room, we went down to look at the water park. It was amazing! It was so hot in there...felt like a sauna. Haven and I were fully clothed, but she played in the water anyway. There were big slides, swimming pools, hot tubs, jungle gyms, kiddie slides, and a huge toddler area. Jason and the other kids put their suits on and tried everything out right away.

After an hour or so playing at the water park, it was time for our first evening of fun which was hosted by Brooke and Jeremy. They took us to the T-Rex Cafe. http://www.kansastravel.org/trexcafe.htm
I'll be honest. I knew the kids would have fun, but I didn't really expect it to be such a fun time for the adults! First we took the kids in to the dig area where they could dig for dinosaur bones, explore gem mines, play interactive games on the computer, or pan for minerals. We tried it all! After a good hand washing, it was time for supper. The food was really good and the atmosphere was great. There were giant prehistoric insects on the walls that moved, animatronic dinosaurs, and meteor showers. The dinosaurs behind our table came to life and made mooing sounds every so often. Haven loved them. When they came to life, she stopped whatever she was doing and mooed back at them! It was a dining adventure. When we got back to the hotel, it was story time in the lobby and there was a whole Christmas show going on. It even "snowed" foam from the ceiling! Afterward the kids went to a dance party where Marren, Haven, Avery, and Max got down with about 50 other kids, Wiley Wolf, and Rowdy Reindeer. It was hilarious!

One of the really fun things about the lodge is how family friendly it is. There are adults and kids in jammies walking around the lobby and through the halls every morning and every evening. Haven made friends with several kids and their parents. It was so unlike her, but she'd walk right up to people and start jabbering at them or lift her little arms up for them to hold her. I think we all just felt really comfortable in that atmosphere.

The next day we hit the water park bright and early, then it was time to bundle up for the Chiefs game! Rick had gotten tickets for himself, Jeremy, Aaron, Jason, Hannah, Addy, Haddon, and me. So, even though the high on Sunday was 16 degrees, we bundled up and headed to Arrowhead Stadium. Getting inside was the coldest part and I started to have my doubts. Being a bit of a hot-house-flower, I do not manage cold well! Once we got to our seats, the temperature was much better, though. The sun was shining right on us and the wind was totally blocked. The kids and I stayed until just after half-time, then we decided to leave since we were all numb and it was getting colder. Those brave men stayed for the whole game! Miraculously, I found the van without any trouble other than the cutting wind.

I took the kids on a short detour to our old neighborhood and even took them down to our seminary apartment and laundry room. I drove around to the back of the apartment building and pointed out Hannah and Addy's bedroom window to them. It was fun to show the girls the park I took them to nearly every day and where Dad worked. I showed them our favorite shopping and eating places when we left campus. Of course, the kids hit the water park just as soon as we returned to the hotel. I spent quite a bit of time holding Haven. Since I never leave her and she was still feeling bad, it had been a bit of a traumatic day for my little muffin! After a little cuddling, I took her down to the water, too. Even though Haven didn't want ANYTHING to do with the water, she enjoyed the exploring and people watching.

There is so much more to write about our tirp, but I think I'm going to have to save the second half of our trip for another post! That'll give me some time to download some pics, too...

Note to Self:

2008-12-11T12:05:00.000-08:00

* In the winter, let the tanning bed warm up before you lay on it naked.
* ALWAYS open the garage door before backing out.
* It does no good to WRITE the letter if you're not going to MAIL the letter.
* Good job getting everyone else bundled up...now go get your coat on.
* If you run out of dishwasher detergent, using even a little bit of regular dish soap could create a bubble tsunami in your kitchen.
* There isn't time to do it tomorrow morning, so do it now.
* Do not schedule a board meeting for the same morning you have put yourself on the schedule to cook lunch for the whole school.
* Next year, divide the tree lights in half and plug them into two different outlets.
* Those photo gifts seem like a good idea...until you actually begin to round up photos for them.
* Somebody will ALWAYS notice if you send home a letter with a type-o.
*The person who notices the type-o will always be sure that you know that they know how incompetent you are.
* Kids who run around in the yard barefooted WILL step in dog poo and/or cut their foot.
* If you forget an extra outfit in the diaper bag, the baby will poop all over whatever they are wearing and end up clad in only a diaper.
*There's no point in dragging a diaper bag around if there are no diapers in it!
*If it has batteries, they will go dead on your trip.

Add your own!

Bah, Humblog!

2008-12-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

So, the thing about Christmas is that it's so much darn WORK! It took me a full week to get all of my outside lights up (mainly because I'm apparently related to the Griswold's). For s0me reason, many of the working lights that we pack up each January seem to have failed by the following December. Consequently, I spend hours plugging in strands of lights and separating them into 3 piles: working, not working, some working. Then I sort through the some working and see if I can get them working. This pile is then divided accordingly between the working pile and the not working pile with the vast majority being tossed into the latter. The not working pile I don't even mess with, it goes directly into the trash (well, okay, it actually sits in the yard for a day or two, then goes into the trash, but you get the idea) after I have scavenged it for bulbs and shingle clips (but only if they are the kind of shingle clips that I like...more on that later). These items fill my pockets and then I begin. This year I attacked the bushes first. Haven played outside in the 70 degree weather as I piled as many lights on our front landscaping as our feeble breakers will support. It's sometimes a challenge to get the cordage figured out and keep from stringing so many together that they blow a fuse. Also, I really need a cherry picker to get the job done properly because a) I cannot reach the top of our tree and b) our roof has an extremely sharp pitch. After two days of wrestling with bushes, digging rocks and dirt out of Haven's mouth, and grumbling about the strings of lights that decided to quit working only when they were carefully put into place, I was done! Since the following day was extremely windy, I decided to set up the tree inside and avoid the wind.
Our artificial tree was a gift from a family friend. It is a huge, 7 foot tree with a gigantic circumference. Since, as you may have picked up on, I am a lighting freak, it takes ten strings of lights to adequately light our magnificent tree. I light as I go, stringing the lights through the branches as I add each level to the base. This way I can light all the way from back to front whilst minimizing my scratches. Eventually I have to get out the step ladder to finish the tree (since I'm only 5'4"). I was on the step ladder adding the last string of lights when I felt something touch my leg. I looked down to find Haven standing on the rung below me, thus blocking my retreat down the ladder and simultaneously making it impossible for me to rescue her. I called for help and my wonderful husband came running in, then dashed back out and returned momentarily with the camera. He rescued Haven and I after snapping a picture. A few moments later I plucked Haven from the top step of the ladder where she stood dancing and waving her little hands in the face of severe injury or death. Next we let the kids decorate the tree. Everyone hangs their own ornaments, then we fill in with the one's that just belong to the whole family. Haven loved hanging her snow globe that she chose at WalMart. We had a wonderful time and the tree looked beautiful, dripping with ornaments and lights...until we added the tree top angel. At that point, quite suddenly, the entire tree went dark. I knew just what had happened, I had too many lights strung together and had blown a fuse. That's an easy fix, except that after replacing the fuse I'd have to separate the lights between two plug ins or the same thing would happen again. No problem, right? If all the lights are plugged in end to end then one should be able to unplug anywhere on the tree and simply move that male end to the outlet. Right? WRONG! For some reason, we could not get the top half of the tree to light and it was already loaded with ornaments. After throwing a temper-tantrum that would've impressed a two year old, I retraced each string of lights until I found the start of the dark ones made some adjustments and voila....a few more lights came on, but still not the whole tree. And there it sits today!
Last night I finally got on the roof to finish my outside lighting. With my pockets loaded to the brim with supplies, I outlined the lower level of our roof (as you recall, part of our roof is too steep to climb on, so it remains unlit every year, severely taxing my Christmas spirit). Finally, it was time to plug in! The same phenomenon occurs every year, but it never fails to irritate me...about a third of the bulbs that were working when they were tested on good old terra firma have magically pooped out now that they are attached to the roof. Maybe they are afraid of heights? I spend more time systematically replacing each bulb with a replacement of the proper color from the stash in my pockets than I do getting the lights up in the first place. But, I love it when it's done (except that I REALLY want to outline the dormer windows that can't be reached). For the remainder of the season I will climb on the roof a couple of times a week to replace the dead bulbs.
I realize that this post only covers the decorating of the season. I can't even begin to complain about the gift shopping, Christmas card sending, and most of all...the post office. No wonder it's so hard to remember that Christmas isn't about the gifts and parties and lights and trees. It isn't even about giving instead of receiving as so many made-for-television movies would like us to believe. No, Christmas is about God coming to earth in the form of a tiny baby to live a sinless life, die on a cross, rise again, and be the Savior of the world.

Apnea Monitors & Other Things

2008-11-28T16:53:00.000-08:00

We arrived in Scott City Wednesday evening to enjoy Thanksgiving with Jason's family (who are my family as well, of course). The first night was a bit rough as we all stayed up too late talking and then Haven not only coughed and hacked all night, but also had two bradycardia alarms and one wakeful period which I utilized to give her an extra breathing treatment. I got to sleep in the next morning...gotta love grandma's house. But, before nine o'clock, Haven's apnea monitor quit working. It wouldn't register her heart rate or respirations and then alarmed "disconnect." We have frequent disconnect alarms, so I checked everything, making sure all was connected properly, and tried again. Same scenario.
We have had frequent issues with the patient cable of our monitor. A patient cable seems to last anywhere from three weeks to three months, then goes "bad." When a patient cable goes bad it registers as a disconnect. Although we had just put a new cable on a few days ago, I was sure that's what it was. Unfortunately, we were out of state AND it was Thanksgiving day.
I called the local hospital first. I thought maybe they had a patient cable I could bum off of them. Nope, of course they didn't. Silly me! Their respiratory therapist said that it was the obligation of our medical supply provider to either get us another one or work it out with a local company to get us one. Obviously he's never tried to deal with our medical supply provider! I called them next, just to get it over with, even though I knew they'd prove to be a dead end. I ended up having to call 3 different numbers before I got someone who knew who to call. She said that she would call the specialist on call, then called me right back and told me that the specialist was in the bathtub and that I should call her in ten minutes. After she gave me that number, we hung up. Next, I called my sister -in-law who is a nurse in Topeka, KS and gave her my sob story. She checked with the respiratory therapist at her hospital who recommended a couple of companies and told us that our doc would have to call in orders if we went with a new company.
My next call was to doc to see what he thought. I was hoping maybe he'd say that it was no big deal for her to go without a monitor for a few days since Haven hardly ever has actual apnea episodes any more. No dice. He did think it was a big deal and told us that if we got information for him he'd call in orders.
Since I'd given the on-call chick plenty of time to finish up her bath, I went ahead and gave her a call. Of course, her phone was turned off and went right to voice mail. Unfortunately, her voice mailbox was full and she couldn't accept any messages. By this point I was so mad I was near tears. I KNOW it's Thanksgiving. I wish our crappy, 17 year old monitor was still functioning, but since it WASN'T, I needed help and just wasn't getting any. I called again and got her the second time. She said she didn't think there was anything she could do, but she'd call her boss. Addy sat next to Haven's crib while she took her morning nap and watched her breathe.
Mr. Boss man called me and was very nice, if not very helpful. He explained to me that I should have brought extra everything with me because nothing was going to be open on Thanksgiving and their couriers only traveled in state. Obviously I am an idiot. What was I thinking, assuming that the brand new, three day old cord would last through the extended weekend? His hands were tied, he explained, but they'd get me a new cord on Monday. Oh, I understand, it's not YOUR problem if my baby stops breathing! I know it's Thanksgiving, people, and I hate to interrupt your holiday, but I'd really like my baby to live through it! And, by the way, don't bother to send us anything, because as soon as we get home we'll be transferring to another home health company, thank you very much!
Next, I called the hospital in a nearby town and discussed my problem with the respiratory therapist there. He said he needed to make a few phone calls and would call me back. It only took him about ten minutes to call back with the bad news...our insurance company would not pay for both monitors even though one was faulty (rental is @ $10.00 a day). He'd left a message with his superior to see if they could loan us one gratis. The next phone call was the one we'd been waiting for! The mother of one of my high school friends happened to be the superior he'd called and she was willing to lend us a monitor free of charge as long as we'd send it back Monday.
WHEW!!! Within two hours she was at the house, helping us hook Haven up to another monitor! God is so good...

Turkey Day

2008-11-27T18:53:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving this year was just as Thanksgiving should be. Driving in the car for hours with a cranky baby, getting to bed WAY later than we should've, nobody sleeping well away from home, apnea monitor mishap causing me to spend the better part of the morning on the phone with home health equipment companies in three states, family converging on Grandma's house, laughing 'til we cried, eating 'til we couldn't move, cleaning it all up just in time to reheat for supper, kids falling asleep on the floor, coffee and chat. All is right in the world.
And, yet, how much time did I really spend being thankful to God for all He has given me? The new van that we drove here in, the cranky baby who we are so blessed to have, family to keep us up visiting, beds to sleep in even though we are away from home, having an apnea monitor to use gratis until we can get home, family, laughter, food, fun, fellowship. So much that cannot even be mentioned since I owe him every breath I take.

Drifter

2008-11-23T21:25:00.000-08:00

About 8 months ago, Peggy VanDorn gave Haddon a new creepy, crawly pet (which are his favorite kind). It was a dusty, half-dead salamander in a cup. Haddon carefully cleaned him off and put him in a little plastic habitat that was formerly used to house hermit crabs. In the following weeks, Haddon learned everything he could about his salamander from books and the internet. He named his barred tiger salamander (I'm not kidding, that kid did his research) "Drifter," which I thought was a pretty good salamander name. He learned that Drifter was not aquatic (oops) and bought him a fish tank, wood chips, and an artificial log at the pet store so that he could have a bigger and more natural environment. He dug worms to feed Drifter and supplemented them with vitamin covered flies (also from the pet store).
Haddon is a very good creepy, crawly pet owner. He loves all things slimy. He took very good care of Drifter. He was absolutely devastated tonight to find that Drifter had passed away sometime this evening. Poor Haddon cried and cried. He loved that salamander. He laid in his bed and cried until 10:30 which is when I usually let Snickers in for bed. He finally fell asleep with his little arm around his dog.
It still surprises me sometimes how tender hearted my all-boy son is. How do you fall so in love with a pet that you can't even cuddle with? But, he did. And I know he will miss Drifter. I'll miss Drifter, too! Imagine a pet that doesn't make a mess, is absolutely silent and odorless, and can be completely cared for by an 8 year old boy...pretty darn near perfect as far as pets go. Sure, he wasn't cute and cuddly, but Drifter never once tipped over the trash can, pulled undies out of the hamper to chew on, or pooped on my floor. I asked Haddon if he'd want another salamander, but he says he thinks he'd like a frog now.

Twi-LITE

2008-11-21T10:19:00.001-08:00

My big girls and I attended the 12:01 showing of Twilight last night. We stood in line for 20 minutes, shivering, waiting for advance ticket holders to be let in. The mood in line was absolutely giddy! We sat in the theater munching on popcorn, discussing the Twilight series, and being threatened repeatedly about cell phone usage during the film. Finally, the previews began 45 minutes after we arrived.
You know, MTV didn't have to make a great movie for Twilight fans to be happy, they only had to make a mediocre film...unfortunately, they made a truly awful movie! The acting was so sub-par that we often found ourselves laughing during critical, supposedly intense scenes. Many of the lines were so canned as to be almost unbelievably bad. My favorite character was Jasper...he didn't say two words the whole movie!
The special effects were ridiculously bad as well. At one point, Edward is running through the forest with Bella on his back and we can see that though his legs are peddling furiously, his feet aren't actually touching the ground. The vampires are supposed to have luminescent skin that has a prismatic effect in direct sunlight. But when Edward showed Bella this phenomenon, it looked as if a make up person simply sprayed him with glitter spray.
The fight scenes were silly. When the coven of vampires assumes their fighting stance, they actually swayed back and forth like ghouls or something. It was embarrassing to watch. I was also appalled by the scene of Carlisle biting Edward's neck...I'd rather not comment further, that's how awful it was. But, possibly, the worst scene was Edward sucking the venom out of Bella's arm. He looked as if he was sucking a REALLY thick milk shake out of a straw and experiencing brain freeze at the same time.
The atmosphere leaving the theater was quite different than it had been when we entered. People were laughing as they recalled the worst parts of the movie and mimicking the badly delivered lines. Keep in mind that the audience wasn't full of film critics, but (mostly teenage) Twilight fans who LOVE the books. My advice? Skip the movie, but read the books!

Dancing Queen

2008-11-17T07:46:00.000-08:00

Hannah and I (and Susie & Arin, too) spent the weekend in Albuquerque at the Dance Masters of America Chapter 35 regional dance competition. We had an amazing time...I can't remember the last time I laughed so much! I am thankful that Hannah has such good friends who are genuinely good girls. All three were a delight to be with.
Hannah has been saying that she wanted to be a ballerina since she was two years old. She started dance lessons in kindergarten, a Christmas gift from Grammy(the gift that keeps on giving). We attended her first dance competition when she was 7 years old. I remember so distinctly watching Hannah dance on stage at that first DMA competition and being so proud and frightened I could cry. She looked terrified, but she did it!
Through years of competitions, I sat nervously and watched her perform, knowing that as much as she loves to dance, doing it in front of people is really difficult for her. After the little girls went, we would watch in awe as the big girls leaped and spun knitting technique and emotion into a work of art. Hannah has always longed to be better than she was. She's wished we lived in an area where she could attend a real dance school where she could devote hours and hours a week to dance. She's cursed her genetics and cried with jealousy over girls with so much natural talent and without a good work ethic. She has danced through aches and pains, sprains, blisters that would make grown men cry. She has danced instead of playing soccer, basketball, or even hanging out with friends. She has worked hard and been so hard on herself that it has made both of us cry. She's been so frustrated that she's wanted to quit, but couldn't give up on her desire to be a dancer.
As I watched Hannah this weekend, I overheard some little girls and their moms oohing and aahing over her dance. It suddenly hit me that now MY daughter was the big girl that was amazing the audience. I watched her through new eyes at that point. Instead of nerves, I was filled with joy, pride, and amazement...not exactly sure when this transformation took place. She has become an artist on the stage. Instead of fear, her face portrays the emotions of the music as her body twists and spins and stretches and flies. Though she doesn't realize it and is still her own harshest critic, my little girl has grown into a ballerina.

Putting Other Churches to Shame

2008-11-13T11:11:00.000-08:00

Our church LOVES their pastor! Lucky for me, their pastor also happens to be my husband! We have been at Lincoln Avenue for 11 1/2 years...which in preacher years is like 50 or something. The average length of time that pastors stay in a church is right around 3 years. So, as you can see, we are ANCIENT for church leadership. Let me not be mistaken, this longevity is due to our church's distinct, unique personality and not due to any attribute of Jason. Jason is only the second pastor that LABC has ever had! Their previous pastor also stayed for many years.
Lincoln takes such good care of us. The people feel like family and I think they see us as family, too. In the 11 1/2 years that Jason has led this flock, no one has ever come gunning for him. Unfortunately, that is an anomaly in Christian churches. Lincoln Avenue is special.
Last night our wonderful church surprised us with a pastor appreciation gift. Surprised is probably an understatement...they astounded us with their gift. The church gave us a van! They knew our current van was limping along. We were going to try to find a replacement by May. Our gracious church family found one for us!
I don't know what most churches do for their pastors for pastor appreciation, but I have no doubt that LABC is unparallelled in that area! I know too many pastors whose churches don't even acknowledge pastor appreciation month.
We took our van out for a little spin last night and Haddon said, "God is so good to us." He's right. Praise God for leading us to Lincoln and letting Jason pastor such a wonderful flock. If you didn't let your pastor know that you appreciated him last month, it's not too late. Send him a card, give him a call, take him to lunch...be an instrument of God's blessing in his life.

Hurricane Haven

2008-11-12T06:09:00.000-08:00

Haven was a virtual hurricane yesterday as she played around the school. She left a trail of destruction in her wake. After leaving a box of rubber bands (500 rubber bands, no less) strewn about my office floor, she moved on to the supply cabinet just outside of my office door. Once she cleared it of manila folders, she made her way to the shelving down the hall. There she opened a box of spiral binding spines and took them out one by one. She busied herself whacking each one on the shelf, the wall, the floor, and her head before discarding it and moving onto the next. It took her nearly half an hour to get through the box (there were 100), but then she was on to the classrooms. She joined the kindergarten first where she found the kids doing "stations" and helped Jakob and Avery build with blocks. Actually, I'm pretty sure she just did demolition, but they didn't complain. After that, she moved on into Mrs. Waddel's classroom. I'm not sure what she did in there, but I hope Haddon cleaned up after her! Next she crossed the hall and roamed back my direction, but got distracted by the preschoolers doing their thing. She joined their class for a while until Mrs. C discovered that she was actually eating the freshly glued glitter off of their art projects and put them up. (Yep, she had sparkly poop last night!) Not to be discouraged from her reign of destruction, Haven moved on to the teacher's lounge where she proceeded to unload the arts and crafts supplies. Finally, she wore herself out and called, "Momma! Momma!" She almost dove for her crib and slept for 2 1/2 hours.
Where was I during all of this? Mostly in my office, but also making frequent trips to ascertain the extent of damage she was causing and monitor her safety. It was the first time in two weeks that she actually played! I was so happy to follow her path of debris and clean it up...what a small price to pay for having a healthy, happy, active baby!

Ode to Coffee

2008-11-06T07:03:00.000-08:00

Mmmmmmm....coffee! Is there a better way to start the day? I love almost everything about coffee. The warmth, the smell, the taste, the caffeine (caffeine is our friend). Ahhh! Just a moment, I need to add to my cup! Coffee has been around for centuries and actually originated in Ethiopia. Coffee has played a major role in many cultures, both ancient and modern. It has been used in religious ceremonies, associated with political rebellion, the basis of economies, and the foundation of social circles.
There is a modern "coffee culture" in our nation. There are coffee snobs who will only drink certain brands of coffee or coffee prepared in certain ways. Coffee shops can be found popping up even in small towns and certain brands of coffee are nationally recognized! New ways of brewing coffee are being invented as we speak. The current trend in coffee equipment is single cup brewing so that one can always enjoy a freshly brewed cup.
I am NOT a coffee snob. I'll drink it hot, cold, iced, blended, naked, creamered, decaff, half-caff, full caff, from a mug, in a styrofoam cup, you name it! I crave it. I have a 6 cup a day habit (on an average day). It's my drug of choice and I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm an addict.

multi-blog

2008-11-05T06:07:00.000-08:00

It's not that I don't have the time to blog, lately, it's just that I can't think of anything interesting to say! You can imagine with five children and a husband in the ministry things are pretty dull at my house (read with sarcasm). So, here are a few snippets of my past week or two...

*Avery is a political junkie at 5. She loves to talk politics and is pretty well informed even though she doesn't grasp many of the ins and outs of our political system (then again, neither do many voting age adults). This week she has been encouraging nearly everyone we meet to vote for McCain and not Obama because, "Obama thinks it's okay to kill babies and he went to that church where his pastor didn't even LIKE America!" I'm not sure if I'm sad or proud that she understands so much.
*I was getting Haven ready for a bath last night and she was pretty crabby and tired (we are still adjusting to the time change at our house). I decided to strip her down before running the water because she often gets invigorated just by being naked and I thought she might play for a bit while I prepped everything. She did. Unfortunately, she also pooped and peed on the living room floor!
*Haddon went to help Papa with milo harvest for a couple of days. He LOVES being with the men and doing manly tasks. He came home just full of confidence and oozing responsibility. My little boy is growing up pretty darn fast!
*I am getting REALLY tired of step aerobics. Maybe it's laziness...I just don't wanna go! When Haven gets over this sinus infection and starts sleeping well again, I think I'm just going to start getting up and running again. Better to torture myself in private without people woo-hooing and claiming they're having great fun???
*I've had a lot of STUFF to deal with at school. STUFF I never really thought I'd have to deal with here. It's probably my fault for admitting students who were questionable...but I always want to help! It's a fine line...trying to minister to kids who have problems while also trying to keep a great atmosphere at the school.
See, this is why I need to blog more often...it just PILES up!

Haven Esther is One!

2008-10-29T21:48:00.000-07:00

Today was Haven's first birthday! Though I never doubted Haven would make it to this milestone, I never thought she'd be dragging the monitor here!

Haven woke up at 2:00 a.m. with a bad cough and 102 degree fever...happy birthday! At 7:30, when she woke up for the day, she was treated to the traditional Dirks birthday pancake. You can tell from her pictures how yucky she was feeling. A little syrup cheered her right up, though!

We had about 20 kids and adults (mostly adults) over for a lunch time celebration. Haven stuffed herself full of mashed potatoes and green beans and thoroughly enjoyed being the center of attention. After lunch we served her her very own GIANT cupcake. She wasn't to sure until the candles were blown out, then she dug right in. She loved mushing the frosting and eating it by the handful. We couldn't believe how much of her cake she actually ate! Finally, Daddy took her out of her highchair and rinsed her off in the sink.

She was intrigued by all of the presents, but quickly lost interest in the opening and wanted to move on to the playing! Avery helped get them all open and Haddon showed her everything. Haven sat on the livingroom floor for over an hour enjoying all of her new stuff...and the wrapping paper fragments!

Princess Pretty Pictures

2008-10-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

Update: Jim was absolutely correct (as he would probably tell you that he is most of the time)...he got some really good pictures of Haven. He even got some AMAZING pictures of Haven. I'm telling you, I don't know how he does it! That guy must have amazing reflexes. He managed to catch all of her split second smiles from that grumpy sitting. Of course, the fact that Haven is the most beautiful baby I've ever seen probably helps Jim with his job some. But, as you may recall from the "Princess Poopy Pictures" blog, she was not the most cooperative little tyke at her session!
As it always is, it was really difficult to choose from so many beautiful pictures, but with Raynell's help I managed to get all the pictures I needed in my favorite poses. She doesn't have to talk customers into buying pictures (the pictures sell themselves), but she's very good at helping us narrow down and choose our favorite poses then decide what we want of each pose. Perhaps she's most gifted at putting together compilations, though. They always turn out to be even more amazing than I'd expected.
I feel sad that Hannah and Addy's early pictures are all from places like Walmart and Sears. We got some good pictures from those places (of course, this is mainly attributed to the fact that Jason and I produce uncommonly beautiful children), but they are no comparison to James pictures. Even Haddon had some pics taken elsewhere. We were familiar with James Photographics by the time he came along, but we honestly didn't think we could afford something of that quality. We were wrong. Looking back I see that we usually spend roughly the same amount on Jim's pictures as we did at the "discount" studios. Have you ever noticed that their special portrait packages are only of one pose (usually a pose of THEIR choice)? You end up spending much more than you had expected in order to purchase some of the better pictures.
Every time we go in to have portraits made, it strikes me how quickly these years are slipping by. I look at the beautiful pictures of my 5 children and am struck by the reality that they will never be this age again. To get a photo that captures the essence of who a little one was on that exact day of his or her life...how do you put a price tag on that?

Objects in Mirror May be Larger than You Thought They Were...

2008-10-21T12:29:00.000-07:00

Four other ladies from WCA and I went to Tulsa to attend the A.C.E. Christian Educator's Convention. We left Sunday afternoon and spent the night Sunday night before attending the all day conference on Monday. The hotel we stayed in was very nice, but the make-up mirror in the bathroom was awful! It was a magnifying mirror with a lighted circle around it. Who can resist such a mirror? Before bed, I turned on the light and gazed in intently only to be shocked and horrified at what I say therein.
I was surprised to find that my eyebrows were not as well groomed as I thought they were. I immediately found my tweezers and spent several minutes trying to rectify that situation. Unfortunately, my eyebrows were so unruly that hand strength and attention span became issues and I gave before my brows were properly tamed. Next I noticed that I have quite a collection of crows' feet that I had previously been blissfully unaware of. When did I get those? My ever-problematic freckles tauted me, standing out even more than usual under magnification and proper lighting. And, were those zits? It's just wrong to have to deal with wrinkles AND zits! I left the bathroom struggling with my self-esteem. Melinda, Laura, and I agreed that we should NEVER look in such a mirror, it's too revealing! I would, frankly, rather not know about all of my facial flaws. Ignorance is bliss.
My temper often serves as a lighted magnification mirror for my personality flaws. I'd rather walk around unaware of my many faults, but my temper highlights those shortcomings to the point that they are not only obvious to me, but also to anyone in the near vicinity. My oh-so-revealing temper got the best of me today and shined a spot-light on some of my less attractive attributes. I can be walking about (perhaps just shopping in Walmart) when suddenly my tempter begins advertising my selfishness, meanness, and self-centeredness. Emotional eruption on aisle 5...clean-up crew needed. That's not to imply that my temper isn't a flaw in and of itself. Believe me, I understand that it is. I only mean to point out how much it magnifies my other sins (that I prefer to believe do not exist). It amazes me how I can be so concerned about superficial things like wrinkles, blemishes, and stray hairs and, yet, remain so unconcerned about things that really matter...at least until they blow up in my face and announce themselves to the world at large. It doesn't actually make them larger, just harder to ignore. Why worry over a few stray eyebrow hairs when my temper is sitting on my face like a giant Neanderthal uni-brow? And, yet, even as I choose to ignore my own sins, I often point a critical finger at other people's flaws. Physical beauty cannot stand up against such spiritual ugliness. The Lord can groom me, though. His Word will pluck, prune, nip, tuck, and cleanse until (eventually) I shine in His beauty. May He be at work in my life, this log in my eye didn't bother me until I noticed it and now that I know it's there it has become excruciating!

Princess Poopy Pictures

2008-10-15T15:50:00.000-07:00

I have been waiting for Haven to get over her respiratory "thing" before having her one year pictures taken, but after a month with no end in sight I gave up and scheduled pictures for today. Unfortunately, I ended up having to rush around before pictures because of a mini-crisis at school that required my attention half an hour before her portrait session. We still made it in plenty of time, but I had to dress her in her picture outfit there at James Photographics. The outfit was new, but thankfully fit since I hadn't bothered to try it on her beforehand! We even managed a complete outfit change without a whine or complaint.
As soon as I got her ADORABLE outfit on her, it was her turn, so I took her into the studio. Jim had a beautiful fall background with brightly colored leaves on the floor, pumpkins in the background, and rustic props. I set Haven in the little bench with high anticipation. She loves Jim! They flirt with each other every Sunday and her little face lights up when she sees him...usually. Today, however, Haven decided to be a stinker. As soon as I set her down in the rustic little bench she balked. Jim got out a smaller seat for her, but she was not to be appeased. We tried the floor to no avail, then pulled in a little apple basket turned over for her to pull up on, but she just was dead set against cooperating. I finally took her shoes off, thinking that maybe they were hurting her feet. No change.
Poor Jim. He has more energy than the three most energetic people I know (besides him) put together, but I think Haven wore him out! He pulled out all the stops trying to get her to smile. You've never heard so many funny noises coming out of a grown man's mouth! He shook all his funny toys, made all manner of strange faces, and even let me sit right next to her. I was hot and tired just watching him work. I can't even imagine how many calories a day that guy must burn!
My friend, Jim, is an excellent photographer. That's not even a biased opinion, that is an undeniable fact. I was discouraged about the sitting, but not Jim. After looking through the shots he'd taken, he seemed pleased. He even told me that he got some "beautiful" pictures (no thanks to Miss Haven). So, just remember, friends, when I present you with Haven's latest pictures and you are oohing and ahhing over them...they are less a testament to her beauty than to Jim's skill! That man works hard for his money.

If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother

2008-10-12T18:48:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said that our parents know how to push all our buttons...after all, they installed them! No doubt that is meant as a humorous observation, but it is fairly true, nonetheless. Nearly daily since I became a mother almost 15 1/2 years ago I have wondered what mistakes I am making that will affect my children for the rest of their lives. What "buttons" am I installing? What will stories will they tell their spouses and children about me? What will they tell their therapists???
Parenting is the most important job in the world and, arguably, the most difficult. Not only is each child different, but each parent and each family is different. There are very few hard and fast rules of parenting. It starts at birth...will you breast feed, or bottle feed? Lay your baby down on side, back, or tummy? Pick her up or let her cry? Walk or rock? The daily decisions seem endless and sometimes insurmountable. With our first child I worried even in her infancy what I was doing to "mess her up?" When the second baby came along I faced decisions squared, but at least I had less time to ponder all of my shortcomings as a mother. Now I have five children and the decisions I am called to make run the gamut from car seats to driver's ed. Not only has the laundry increased exponentially, but so have the daily decisions I make regarding the parenting of these precious ones that have been entrusted to me.
I wish I could say that I do my best, but the truth is that often times I'm not doing my best. Sometimes I'm lazy or selfish or tired or grumpy. I worry that they will grow up and only remember those times. I hope not. I hope they remember how I made them whatever kind of birthday cake they asked for every year (I still remember my mother baking me a strawberry cake for my 3rd birthday at my request). I hope they remember how we took walks and talked about important things almost every spring and summer evening. I hope they remember the times we laughed so hard we cried. I hope they remember "Dirks Idol" and "Fear Factor, Dirks Addition." I hope they remember putting ornaments on the tree and lights on the house. Instead of remembering the times I was frustrated with them over homework or snapped at their insistent questioning, I hope what they remember most about their childhood is how much their mother loved them.

Naked infront of a Crowd

2008-10-10T13:26:00.000-07:00

Blogging, for me, is about the writing process and about letting you get to know me a little bit (or a lot) better than you do. It's a window into my soul. It's about transparency. But, the thing about being transparent is that it's scary. The more people know you, the more they can hurt you...intentionally, or otherwise. My blog is not an invitation for you to fix me. I am not broken. I am a rock.

Things that are better than being thin (not necessarily in order):
*Having a husband who thinks I'm beautiful!
*Having 5 beautiful children.
*Knowing Christ and being His new creation.
*Being fit.
*Being smart.
*Happiness.
*Being funny.
*Having joy every day.
*Being debt free.
*Having good friends and being a good friend.
*Being surrounded by people who love me.
*Being healthy physically and emotionally and spiritually.
*Being respectful.
*Being thoughtful.
*Being tactful.
*Being kind.

If you don't happen to like it, pass me by!~