How Do You Do It?

From the label of a bottle of Go-Go Mixed Berry (e+ribose) Vitamin Water: how could you possibly be reading this label right now? isn't there a meeting you should be in? a child you forgot to pick up? a gym you've been paying for? (fyi...there's a difference between "paying for" and "using.") we know, we know...you're busy. every day is a marathon. fortunately, (omitting section extolling the virtues of vitamin water) blah, blah, blah. now hurry to the soccer field, it's getting dark and your child's coach is starting to ask questions.

How did they know? Is it possible that it's not just me? I've always suspected that I was the only Mom with ninety-seven balls in the air (or, rather, ninety-seven balls that are SUPPOSED to be in the air but which seem to keep mysteriously dropping, unable to defy gravity on their own). As I type this, my oldest daughter is finishing the lunch I started cooking, there are two partially folded loads of laundry on the recliner, "Ice Age" is playing (but nobody is watching it), Avery is sitting next to me pantomiming me typing on my laptop (and she just commented, "This is what you do all day," gotta love that), smoke is billowing out of the oven from the plastic that is melted to the bottom and is burning off a little bit at a time, the sole boy is upstairs changing out of his soccer gear (leaving it on his bedroom floor), the dryer just alerted me that if I don't empty it the contents will be wrinkled beyond redemption. Today I still have to: fold the remaining laundry, put the hang-ups on hangers, put it all in closets and drawers, take Av to buy a present, take Av to the partay at the skating rink, clean out the pantry (because that's where I hid all of the clutter twenty minutes before Buttercup's birthday party), pick up Addy, put the zipper in Addy's "Alice in Wonderland" costume, pick Avery up from the partay, vacuum, address thank you notes, and, of course, keep my sweet little buttercup content. Your guess is as good as mine as to how much of this list will actually get accomplished!
Being a mom is just hard stuff. It's good, don't get me wrong, but it's hard. Being the mother of five sometimes seems impossible. But, I have a trick...more of a technique, really. So, how do I do it? Simple: I just don't do any of it very well.

Free Eating

So, I came into the dining room this evening to find Haven sitting bare bottomed on the table. Reminds me of those "free eating" commercials!
I guess we'll be eating in the living room tonight...

Due to Popular Demand

Here is the recipe for the "Starbuck's" Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins that I slopped all over the floor in my previous post:

Ingredients
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon ground cloves
4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 pinch cardamom (optional)
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
4 eggs
2 cups sugar
2 cups pumpkin
1 1/4 cups vegetable oil
8 ounces cream cheese
chopped pumpkin seeds (optional) or walnuts (optional) or pecans (optional)

Directions
1 Preheat oven to 350.
2 Put the entire brick of cream cheese on a piece of wax paper or parchment paper and shape it into a long log.
3 Put it in the freezer while you mix and fill the pans, up to an hour.
4 Unwrap and cut with a sharp knife so each cream cheese disk equals 1-2 teaspoons. If the cream cheese disks are too big around, cut thick slices and then cut them in half. This lets you push it down into the batter easier.
5 Mix all ingredients together (except cream cheese and nuts).
6 Fill muffin tins (greased or paper cups) half full.
7 Put cream cheese disc in the middle, pressing down.
8 Sprinkle with 1 tsp chopped nuts.
9 Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean from the muffin part (do not touch the cream cheese!).
10 Let cool in pans for 5 minutes, then remove to racks to cool completely. Do not touch the cream cheese until it cools.

Tips:
*For a lowfat alternative, substitute applesauce for the oil and use low fat cream cheese instead of the full fat version
*Keep bowl away from the edge of the counter (see previous post)

The Pumpkin Muffins that Weren't

We're having a women's ministry meeting tonight. In order to contribute...and show off...I was baking 4 dozen delicious muffins to take. Unfortunately, after spending $25 on ingredients and putting said ingredients in mixing bowl, I then knocked afore mentioned bowl off of kitchen counter and in doing so, splattered the wanna-be muffins all over my kitchen floor.
I called my husband to cry on his shoulder. His response? "Do I need to go get you some more muffin mix?" Totally missing the point. (Deep sigh.) I don't think I have it in me to start over.