Monday, December 7, 2009

Ghetto Fabulous Christmas

OR "The Bigger They Are...The Harder They Fall" OR "Goliath" OR "When a Tree Falls in the Living room and There's Nobody There to Hear it, Does it Make a Sound?"

I could go on and on, but I won't. I woke this morning to the sight of our seven footer lying down on the job. How could such a thing have happened? It was standing tall and proud, shimmering with lights and ornaments of every size, shape, and color when I went to bed. The cat was out, the baby was safely tucked into bed...what could cause this behemoth to fall? Perhaps even more disturbing than could I have not heard it fall? True, the base broke several years ago, but my man braced it with wood, bailing wire, and duct tape. He's the MacGyver of the quick fix. Could it be that his masterful tree rigging job was doomed to fail after four years of use? Inconceivable!

Hannah and I went on our way to the gym. I felt a little bit sad that the old tree bit the dust, but also a little bit happy about finally buying a new one. By the time we got back home an hour later, I was actually feeling excited about re-decorating a new tree, too. Of course, I entered the living room and found my crippled giant wavering in the light. Haddon was holding it as straight as he could. Jason was laying under it (no doubt hammering or screwing or taping something). Not concerned with pride or decorating in the least, my inventive husband has Goliath rigged upright. It's got a brick on the base and the top is anchored to the mini-blind cords. Another cord is tied around the top of the "trunk" and strung down to the brick. What could happen to a plan like that? It's fool proof!

Looks like the tree will make it for another couple of years, at least!