* In the winter, let the tanning bed warm up before you lay on it naked.
* ALWAYS open the garage door before backing out.
* It does no good to WRITE the letter if you're not going to MAIL the letter.
* Good job getting everyone else bundled up...now go get your coat on.
* If you run out of dishwasher detergent, using even a little bit of regular dish soap could create a bubble tsunami in your kitchen.
* There isn't time to do it tomorrow morning, so do it now.
* Do not schedule a board meeting for the same morning you have put yourself on the schedule to cook lunch for the whole school.
* Next year, divide the tree lights in half and plug them into two different outlets.
* Those photo gifts seem like a good idea...until you actually begin to round up photos for them.
* Somebody will ALWAYS notice if you send home a letter with a type-o.
*The person who notices the type-o will always be sure that you know that they know how incompetent you are.
* Kids who run around in the yard barefooted WILL step in dog poo and/or cut their foot.
* If you forget an extra outfit in the diaper bag, the baby will poop all over whatever they are wearing and end up clad in only a diaper.
*There's no point in dragging a diaper bag around if there are no diapers in it!
*If it has batteries, they will go dead on your trip.
Add your own!