The Face of A Child Can Say It All, Especially the Mouth Part of the Face

Here are some of my favorite things said by kids (okay, mostly my kids...but I'm around them a lot):

Words of Wisdom by Jaxon:

*"Moms sure are beautifuller when their babies are littler. They just keep getting grosser and grosser." -while reading Love You Forever.

*"The Lord, the Lord has defeated all the injas!" - sung in a very low, monotone voice. (Injas are ninjas.)

*"Mom, will Jett and I be old men together?" (yes baby.) "Ok, well, will we live together when we are old." (If you want to I guess.) "Ok, well, I think we will be be best brothers forever and defeat ninjas."

*"When I get married I'm going to do gooder and gooder things for my womans. I wonder how many womans I'm going to have when I grow up."

*"So is Jaxon from the bible?" (Well no honey we just really liked that name.) "Oh. So you didn't give me like a ninja name or anything?" (No honey, we didn't know you'd like ninjas. But Jaxon Tate is an old cowboy name I think.) "Really? Which cowboy was he? Like from the movie we watched?" (Yeah like him the one who captured bad guys and saved the ladies.) "Well which one was he? The black hat one?" (Yeah honey that one.) "Hmmmm ok." -discussing how he was named

*"Mom I like strangers. Except the kind that say hey little kid come get in my car I got some candy for ya."

*(Bye Jaxon. I'll call you later.) "Ok mom... Wait, teleport or just call?" (Umm teleport..) "Ok."

*"I'm allergic to tornadoes."

*"I miss the old days." (Jaxon is 5!)

The World According To Haven:

*In the car as a semi hauling bales of hay passes, "That guy's got a big nest."

*Points to her nipples, "These are my ankles." Points to my chest, "You have ankles, too. Your ankles are big because you're big. My ankles are little...and clean. You need to wash your ankles."

*"Wat up, dude-Mom?"

*"I'm a good mouth talker!"

*Sigh..."This is hurting a lot." I look up to see a q-tip sticking out of each of her nostrils.

*After being straight-cathed at the ER..."It is NOT fun when the doctor pushes down on your bottom. Going to the playground is fun...pushing down your bottom...not fun."

*Brushing her hair out of her face..."My hair is on backward!"

*Me: "Is that something you can do by yourself?"

Buttercup: "Yes, only one thing...you have to help me."

*Bella, finding Buttercup in the laundry basket: "What's wrong?"

Buttercup: "Avery won't play fashion with me so now all I have to do is sit in this box and be alone."

*While looking into my sewing basket: "I found a measure of courage lit by hope's eternal flame!"

*"I have one brother and three moms!" (referring to her brother and three SISTERS)

*While "preaching": "What does the Bible say...about chapstick?"

*"Hannah, I'm going to light you on fire. Everything will be alright."

*Bella: "Just one more time Haven!"

Buttercup: "Okay! And then again and again and again!"

Big Kids are Funny, Too!

*Princeska to Bella: "I was thinking I could borrow one of your belts cause your hips aren't very big. Not as big as your head or anything."

* Bella: "Is gunmentery a word?"

Me: "Haha! No!"

Bella: "Rifleshippery?"

Me: "Riflery?"

*Lulu: I get why the lady in those tanning ads is really brown & wears a bikini everywhere, but why does she have a man voice? Did she get throat cancer, too???

*Bella: I teach children to literacy.

*Princeska (while listening to "Leader of the Pack): "I really like how he turns around and goes and picks her up on his motorcycle cause thats like, you know, true love!"

*Lulu: I think I just saw my cat fly by the window.

*Lulu: "So what's wrong with me?"

Bella: "Your brain is square."

Lulu: "Well that's no good. At least Monk could eat it on a sandwich."

*Lulu: "I have an ice cream lipstache!"

Bella: "You mean mustache?"

Lulu:"Uh no. It's on my lip not my mus!"

*Princeska: "The longest word in the dictionary is smile! Get it! S-mile! Mile!"

Bella: "What about league?"

Buttercup: "Or poop?!"

*When you're running there's no encouragement like a naked three year old doing jumping jacks while holding ping pong paddles and yelling, "Go Hannah go!!! Go Hannah go!!! Wow!!! You're so fast!!!"

*Lulu: "I'm pretty sure armadillos do indeed have magical powers. Have you seen those things?! Plumb unnatural."

*Lulu: "I bet I can name 5 animals with tusks right here and now"

Bella: "Go for it!"

Lulu: "Hog. Porcupine. Snake. Ballerina. Iguana. I win."

*Princeska: "I'm putting lots of detail to my paper snowman. It makes it fancier. Or as the cake boss says, it 'brings it to life.'

*Lulu: "You just can't trust a person with no teeth. If they can't afford dentures then they can't afford to be honest."

*Lulu: "Oh this loads really slow. When I try to get on it I open another window cause I get impatient. Or I put my hands on the screen and chant."

*Lulu's version of the Olive Garden commercials: "Hi! My family and I are all supermodels and love each other! These noodles are so good! It makes us burst into spontaneous laughter!!!"

*Bella: I think Dora's a hoarder. Have you seen what all she keeps in her backpack?! What are we teaching children these days?!

*Bella: There is a fine line between being tan and looking like you've rolled in doritos. Please fry yourself with discretion

*While cutting up sweet potatoes, Bella expressed her relief at finally coming across a skinny one that was easier to cut. Lulu reprimanded her, "Hannah, I'm ashamed. There is so much more to love in one of those fat yams. Don't be judgmental."

*Max: "You should play football with us next time!"

Bella: "but I'm really bad at football!!!"

Max: "well that's what practice is for you dingus!"

*Bubba-Man to Jackson: "We can shoot my bb gun, but we have to follow all the rules, like don't shoot the neighbor's dog..."

*Bella: (panicky) "Stop! What are you doing??? Don't drink after me!!!"

Caleb: "What?!?!"

Lulu: "They're like Romeo and Juliet!"

*Lulu: "You lured me in with your seductive voice! Oh ya. I forgot what your voice actually sounded like this morning."

*Lulu starts to dance...Bella: "Addy! Your butt dance is..."

Lulu: "Madly attractive?!"

Buttercup: "I think it's beautiful!"

Parenting Moments:

*Bubba-man: "What did the hospital do with my appendix?"

Dad: "Sold it to a Chinese restauraunt."

*Lulu: "Mother, will you smooth out your eyebrow?"

Me: lick finger and procede to smooth...

Lulu: "Uuuhhhhh, nope."

*We do highs and lows at the dinner table . One night J asked Buttercup, "Did you have a good high today?"

*Christmas quote of the year by J to Buttercup: "That's right, Haven. Baby Jesus is important, because without him, Christmas would be about Hell."