Sunday, August 17, 2008

Going For the Gold

In the spirit of the Olympics, our church picnic will feature "friendly" competition next Sunday. Included will be things like volleyball, sack race, three legged race, and the most grueling sport of all...the wife carry. Two years ago Jason and I were edged out of a win by Jason and Tiffany Biffle. It was a close race and they had an obvious size advantage (Tiffany is less than half of Jason where as I am about the same weight as my Jason and considerably fluffier). Last year Jason and I were unable to participate due to pregnancy (mine).
This is our year...I can feel it.
In order to clench the victory, we are adopting a rigorous training regimen. (Cue "Rocky" theme music...) I am going to lose about 25 pounds by Sunday. That's about 4 1/2 pounds a day, so my diet will consist of water and vitamins and my weight loss will be accellerated by about 4 hours of aerobic training daily. We are also perfecting our technique (check it out...we learned from the "experts" ...but beware: I'll take out ANYONE who copies our technique). Starting tomorrow, Jason will be running several miles a night over rugged terrain with me on his back. I'm going to spend HOURS upside down so that my eyeballs don't pop out due to increased blood flow to the head during the race.
Some people may think this is going a bit overboard. Au contrair mon frair...Tiffany brought this on herself by insinuating that she and her Jason were unbeatable. Well, may be skinny and your husband may be a giant, but Jason and I have heart and passion and the desire to win and THIS IS OUR YEAR! Now can you deal with THAT???

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