Haddon keeps me constantly astonished at his lack of personal hygiene. I wonder, how could he have grown up in this house and be so gross? When he was a toddler, he ENJOYED wearing his poopy diapers and cried when I changed them. He decorated his whole body with a marker when he was three. When he was four, I asked him once if he had used soap when he washed his hands (seemed like a suspiciously quick hand washing to me) and he replied, "You didn't tell me to use soap!" Thereafter I had to say, "Haddon, please go wash your hands...with soap." Even though I'd explained that washing your hands without soap is called "rinsing," I didn't want to take any chances. It was like a flashback when at 5 he told me that he didn't know he was supposed to wash his hair with shampoo! In the days leading up to kindergarten my son and I had many conversations about wiping yourself adequately. "But how many times do I have to wipe?" he'd ask. "At least 3 times, son, but wipe until the toilet paper is clean." I hoped he was doing a good job, but at times his underwear belied his ability to clean his own bottom.
Although he is eight now, and nearly nine, Haddon doesn't seem to be improving on his personal grooming habits. Sunday when he was wrestling around with a friend after church I caught a glimpse of his underwear...which looked suspiciously like the underwear he'd been wearing the day before. As if that's not bad enough, they were the same underwear the day before that I'd confirmed with him he'd been wearing the day before that and had admonished him to change at his earliest convenience. I didn't want to embarrass him, but was feeling pretty perturbed. I pulled him aside and asked if he'd put on clean underwear after his shower. "What do you mean?" he asked. Well, that took me a back for a moment. How many things can "did you put on clean underwear after your shower" mean? I rephrased, "After your shower, did you put on the same underwear that you were wearing before your shower?" He admitted that it was so. Gah! Why, why, WHY would you put really dirty underwear on your clean body??? He said he wasn't sure if they were dirty!!! "Honey, you've worn them for at least two days and now most of three. Trust me, they're dirty!" He knew I was not happy. I decided that maybe he just needed some new underwear since he seemed to prefer the boxer brief, so I bought him a package. He was pretty excited about them and put a fresh pair on in the morning. Unfortunately, after his shower Monday night he looked at me, pointed at the underwear he'd so recently taken off and...
ASKED IF HE COULD PUT THEM BACK ON!!!
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